Gotta Fix That Bug Right Now

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution it works and lunderstand it We need to rewrite it it works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquit ESCIESCJC I don't know how to quit vi

Content Pranay Pathole PPathole How Programmers are portrayed in movies: white male conspicuously nerdy everything he codes works on the first try fast typist, types extra fast in programming emergencies never Googles error messages, in fact there are no error messages

The eternal developer paradox: spending an entire workday wrestling with broken code rather than taking five minutes to read the manual. It's not stubbornness—it's an investment strategy. Why solve a problem in minutes when you can turn it into a character-building experience that consumes your entire Tuesday? Documentation exists solely as a last resort, to be consulted only after exhausting all possible incorrect approaches first.

Ah, the classic integer overflow but for... other measurements! The terminal shows someone entering "7" inches, but somehow the calculation throws a DickLengthError claiming it "cannot be negative." Either the algorithm subtracted from the wrong base value, or someone's been exaggerating by about 2³² units. The exit code -69420 is just the chef's kiss of juvenile programmer humor—combining the infamous "69" with "420" and making it negative for extra absurdity. This is basically what happens when you let engineers build dating apps.

Content Don't work hard work intelligent Client: Hello, so I ordered 1000 cubes for my home made pyramid but you sent me 998 ones and 2 spheres. Boss: What do you mean, we don't even sell spheres. Client: Well, apparently one of your employees spent the entire work day cutting two of them into spheres so he can roll them. Boss: Oh lord, it was probably John, he is kind of an idiot. We will fix this as soon as possible. Client: Thanks a lot.

Content He attac He protec but most importantly he prevent overflow on stac