Defect Is A Defect

Content codes.learning THE LIFE OF A PROGRAMMER By codes.learning No hugs kisses, only bugs fixes No dates, only updates No Crush, only crash No 69, only fix the line No romance, only maintenance No hugging, only debugging No rest, only test No smile, only compile No one trustable, only variable codes.learning Learn to Code GET FREE CERTIFICATION COURSES KNOWLEDGE JOIN OUR TELEGRAM CHANNEL LINK IN BIO

Somewhere in a parallel universe, bogosort finishes in O(1) time, git merge has no conflicts, and printers just work. Meanwhile, in our reality, we're still waiting for that one-in-a-googol chance where our randomly shuffled array accidentally ends up sorted. The cosmic joke is that even quantum computers would give up before bogosort succeeds. Such is life in the worst timeline.

The asylum of programming sins is now accepting new patients! Left to right, we have the poor soul who thought regex was a sensible XML parsing solution (narrator: it wasn't), the delusional dev who reinvented the wheel with a custom date/time library (because clearly, humanity hasn't solved that problem in the last 50 years), and finally—the pièce de résistance—the screaming maniac who blindly copy-pasted AI-generated "fixes" straight into production. The padded walls of this code asylum are the only things keeping these developers from harming themselves or others with more terrible technical decisions.

Ah, the classic programmer's paradox! 😂 When your boss is congratulating you for making the code 26% faster, but you're internally screaming because YOU were the one who made it a hot mess in the first place! It's like being praised for cleaning up your own disaster. "Thanks for putting out the fire, champ!" ...that I literally started myself. The awkward handshake just seals the deal - accepting praise while knowing you're basically just undoing your own crimes against code. LMAO! The real optimization was the technical debt we created along the way! 🤦‍♂️

Content Junior Who Crashed The Production VOLO You want it? You merge it. History 8 100 unlocked Unlocked Sep 20 172 Merged without a review

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING