Client expectations Memes

Can't Be That Hard

4 hours ago 50.1K views 0 shares

That moment when your client says "just sprinkle some AI into our app" like they're asking for extra cheese on a pizza. Meanwhile, you're mentally calculating how many weekends you'll sacrifice to implement a neural network that can barely tell a cat from a toaster. Your fist clenches as they add "shouldn't take more than a day or two, right?" Sure, and I'll also build a quantum computer with paperclips and bubble gum while I'm at it.

Won't The Client Kill Me

Programming Agile Debugging Testing Frontend

10 days ago 62.5K views 0 shares

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern development! 😱 That moment when the requirements doc and your production code are like two ships passing in the night - EXCEPT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN! The requirements are over there screaming "NO" while your code is confidently declaring "YES" to being friends. The client is about to have an absolute meltdown when they discover their precious requirements document and your "creative interpretation" have NEVER EVEN MET EACH OTHER! Divorce papers are being drafted as we speak! 💔

Programmer Is...

Programming Webdev Debugging

13 days ago 77.0K views 1 shares

The dictionary definition we all secretly wish was printed in Webster's. After 15 years in the trenches, I can confirm this is exactly what happens in every client meeting: Client: "We need a simple website." Me: *builds website* Client: "Why can't it also predict stock market trends and make coffee?" The "wizard/magician" reference is spot on. I've literally been asked if I can "just hack" into systems before. No Karen, that's called a felony, not a feature request.

Just Tell Me What I Need To Know

Webdev Agile Programming Frontend Backend

13 days ago 75.6K views 0 shares

The harsh interrogation lights are on, but the client's requirements remain in the shadows. You're basically waterboarding them with questions while they respond with "I just want something simple" and "You're the expert, figure it out." Meanwhile, the project deadline is tomorrow, the budget is whatever coins they found in their couch, and somehow you're supposed to build the next Facebook but "keep it minimal." The worst part? When it's all over, they'll look at your work and say "That's not what I had in mind at all."

Let Me Know If You Need Anything Else

Programming Webdev Frontend Backend

14 days ago 68.5K views 0 shares

The classic "let me know if you need anything else" client interaction has reached its final form. Some non-technical person casually asking you to "write my entire app" while they nap is the modern equivalent of "can you fix my printer while you're here?" Except now they want you to build the next Facebook during their power nap. The sinister wojak response is every developer's inner monologue when clients have absolutely no concept of time, effort, or reality. We smile politely while internally plotting to make their app harvest data and addict users... because that's totally how programming works, right?

I Have No Comments To This

Agile Devops Programming Testing

21 days ago 69.9K views 0 shares

The eternal dance of software development in two frames: a developer screaming internally while trying to estimate how long a project will take, juxtaposed with a project manager gleefully promising impossible deadlines to clients. It's like watching someone calculate the precise dimensions of a coffin while their boss is already selling tickets to the resurrection. The developer knows whatever number they give will be arbitrary and wrong, yet the PM has already promised the client they'll deliver a full enterprise system by next Tuesday. And thus begins another project destined to join the 70% that fail or exceed their budgets. But hey, at least the client is temporarily happy!

Can You Also Please Resolve Them

Debugging Agile Programming Testing

26 days ago 62.8K views 0 shares

That brief moment of professional pride when you squash a bug, immediately shattered by the client's "While you're at it..." speech. Fixing one issue is like putting a band-aid on the Titanic - there's always an iceberg of three more critical bugs lurking beneath the surface. The client's timing is impeccable too, waiting until you've mentally closed the ticket and started daydreaming about that coffee break you'll never get.

AI Will Replace Programmers (After We Define 'Something')

AI Agile Programming Debugging

27 days ago 103.3K views 3 shares

AI Will Replace Programmers (After We Define 'Something')

Sure, AI will replace programmers... right after it figures out what "a button that does something" means. The robot claims it just needs clear requirements and detailed specs, meanwhile product managers are out here giving requirements like they're ordering at a restaurant after three martinis. Good luck getting that neural network to interpret "make it pop" or "you know what I mean, right?"

Hell Naawhh: The Non-Technical Pitch

Programming Webdev Javascript Databases Frontend

1 month ago 69.9K views 0 shares

That visceral internal reaction when your non-technical friend pitches their "revolutionary" app idea that's basically just Uber-but-for-dogwalkers and casually mentions "it should only take a weekend to build, right?" The face perfectly captures that split-second calculation of whether to explain that their "simple app" requires a database architecture, frontend framework, backend API, authentication system, payment processing, and six months of your life... or just smile politely while mentally running process.exit(1) .

I Just Asked For A Horse

Programming Agile Debugging

1 month ago 86.6K views 0 shares

Remember that client who wanted a "simple horse app" with a three-day deadline? Yeah, this is what happens when you code on vibes alone. You proudly announce your "fast running horse" while delivering what's clearly a cow with identity issues. The classic requirements vs. implementation disaster that haunts every sprint planning session. And the bottom text just nails it – we're all doomed to keep drawing cows when asked for horses because "the specs weren't clear enough" and "it technically has four legs, what more do you want?"

Defect Is A Defect

Debugging Devops Agile Programming Testing

1 month ago 104.9K views 0 shares

When your software manager starts categorizing bugs by priority, but your Japanese client cuts through the bureaucracy like a samurai sword! 🗡️ The exquisite beauty of Japanese business culture - where a defect is simply a defect, regardless of how much semantic sugar-coating you try to sprinkle on it. No need for your fancy priority matrix when the end result is the same: your code is broken in 11 different ways and needs fixing. Western developers: "But this P3 bug only affects 0.01% of users under specific conditions!" Japanese client: *stares in kaizen*

I'm Not Asking For Much

Webdev React Javascript Programming Databases

2 months ago 141.8K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic client scope creep. First panel: "Make me a portfolio website?" Simple enough, just slap some HTML and CSS together, maybe a touch of JavaScript. Second panel: "Now make me a simple store. How hard can it be?" Suddenly you need React, MySQL, authentication, payment processing, and whatever that circuit diagram is supposed to be. Probably the client's "simple" idea for a recommendation algorithm that "just works like Amazon's but better." It's like asking someone to build a doghouse and then casually requesting they add an infinity pool and home theater while they're at it. Because you know, how hard can it be?

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