Wrong Database, Right Career Move

Content Does anyone need a frontend developer? NO NAH I need one... ProgrammerHumor. mat3e for Query project

Content When you copy a snippet from StackOverflow and it doesn't works Those bastards lied to me ProgrammerHumor.

Content Karen Kringle KarenMN 9 Follow He's making a database He's sorting it twice SELECT from contacts WHERE behavior 'nice' SQL Clause is coming to town RETWEETS 3,960 LIKES 2,920 5:02 AM - 16 Dec 2015 13

Content I Am Devloper iamdevloper If your brain was a database engine, what would it be? 4:36 PM 17 Mar 20 Twitter Web App 96 Retweets 796 Likes 17 KNRD Azeyrex 6h Replying to iamdevloper devnull 9 1 17 221 devnull devnull 6h was about to say that 9 17 49 8

Content print("Hello World!") is the code Today at 9:31 PM oh day at 9:32 PM what it does is print the words Hello World! Today at 9:32 PM but i dont have a printer

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (I) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those