Wrong Database, Right Career Move

Content I looked forwards in time and saw 78 billion futures. How did you see them all so quickly? I used shuf

Content C and Python programmers arguing about what language should be learned first Me trying to learn C with no programming knowledge

Content I need an experienced devops person that knows cloud and databases well for a lead developer position We have a perfect match: two years experience in total, seems to be a job hopper and he did only react in his last three positions

Content 32h What programming language do you use ? What containers do you use ? What IDE do you use? How do you store your records? What framework do you use for your unit testing ? 60 5 2 Awards C hashtag. Rubbermaid. Microsoft Word. In album jackets. The fuck is unit testing? 4 124 I Th "The fuck is unit testing" Authentic programmer confirmed :- 83 3

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content function to fuck UP the database Idef fuckup() : conn sqlite3.connect('database.db') C conn. cursor ( ) c.execute ("DROP TABLE users") conn.commit( conn.close () Posted in rprogramminghorror by umyguygetshigh ProarammerHumor.io reddit