Limit Prod DB Access

Why actually learn SQL when you can just insult everyone else's intelligence instead? The classic developer shortcut: when in doubt, blame others! Nothing says "I'm totally competent" like calling database experts names while secretly Googling "what is a JOIN statement" for the fifth time today. The true mark of a 10x developer is their ability to deflect, not their ability to query.

Content Instead of letting your job dictate how you write code, choose your job based on your favorite case type. snakecase kebab-case PascalCase camelCase MACRO CASE Train-Case Backend Data Science DevOps Frontend Mobile Databases HTML

Content When the Select Top 1 has been going for over 3 minutes now

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When your database schema is so bad that you're using age as a primary key. Because apparently, birthdays are more unique than usernames! Bonus points for the error message implying there's only ONE 17-year-old allowed on the platform. That dev probably also stores passwords in plaintext and thinks SQL injection is a new energy drink.

Ah yes, the classic executive who just discovered the term "data science" and now thinks anyone who can run a basic SQL query is suddenly a data scientist. Nothing says "I understand tech" quite like watching someone execute SELECT * FROM table and immediately asking if they should update their LinkedIn to "Senior ML Engineer." Meanwhile, actual data scientists with PhDs in statistics are quietly crying into their Jupyter notebooks.