My C Code Isn't Working Guys

THE AUDACITY of young me declaring "I don't need math, I'll just make video games!" only to later discover that game development is LITERALLY a mathematical hellscape! 😭 Fast forward to the soul-crushing reality where Unity, OpenGL, C++, and every other game dev tool are CACKLING at your mathematical ignorance. They're all just sitting there like "Oh honey, you thought you could escape VECTORS and MATRICES? That's adorable!" Game physics? MATH. Graphics rendering? MATH. Character movement? MATH. It's math all the way down, you poor, delusional child!

The dream of every developer who's spent too much time shopping for domains: create your own TLD like .dev or .io and become the overlord of developer vanity URLs. Just need that small loan of a million dollars first! Meanwhile, we're all stuck paying $50/year for that perfect domain name that we'll use for exactly one weekend project before abandoning it. The modern developer's equivalent of buying gym equipment that becomes an expensive clothes hanger.

The lifecycle of a C programmer in three Reddit posts: First: "Do you guys even like C?" - The honeymoon phase where you question your life choices after encountering your first segmentation fault. Then: "I'm beginning to like C" - Stockholm syndrome kicks in. You've accepted that memory management is your new unpaid part-time job. Finally: "How do you find libraries in C?" - The desperate plea of someone who's spent 6 hours trying to parse a JSON string without external help. Welcome to dependency hell, where the libraries are scarce and the documentation is optional.

When you ask for a 32-bit integer but the judge gives you a signed one. That ~32,768 years sentence is suspiciously close to 2^15, which is exactly what happens when you overflow a signed 16-bit integer. The criminal probably wanted an unsigned int that goes up to 65,535, but instead got the negative range too. Classic rookie mistake. Should've specified the data type in the plea bargain.

The classic programmer's transitive property. "If I know A and B, then I know C" logic taken to its absurd conclusion. Like claiming you're fluent in Italian because you once ate at Olive Garden. Next they'll say they know machine code because they touched a computer once. The confidence of someone who thinks programming languages are just Pokémon evolutions of each other.

Ah, the divine intervention of C++23. Nothing says "prayers answered" quite like std::expected_never() and std::has_single_bit() descending from the heavens. The desperate programmer begging for a sign gets 23 new standard functions instead. Truly blessed are those who update their compilers, for they shall inherit the earth-shattering compile errors of a slightly different syntax.