Say Hi In Your Language

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

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OH THE DRAMA OF IT ALL! 💅 You think you're so clever with your "quick ticket" to IT support, don't you? "Just remote in and click a button!" HONEY, PLEASE! What you don't realize is that behind every support ticket is an IT person who has already broken the system in seventeen different ways while trying to fix the eighteen ways YOU broke it first. We're not wizards, we're just professional chaos managers with caffeine addictions and a concerning familiarity with error messages that don't even exist in documentation. The audacity of end users thinking we'll be embarrassed when things don't work... sweetie, embarrassment left the chat YEARS ago along with our will to explain why "turning it off and on again" actually works!

Ah, the classic "my CPU is running at half a million MHz" situation. Either this person has discovered the world's fastest processor or their monitoring software is having an existential crisis. For reference, most high-end CPUs run at 3000-5000 MHz, so this is just casually operating at *checks notes* 100x normal speed while using only 14% of its power. Next week: "My RAM downloaded more RAM and now I have infinite memory."

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