I Like My Memory How I Like My Sprints: Unmanaged

15 years of C++ experience and just discovered mutable ? That's like being a plumber for decades and suddenly finding out toilets have a flush mechanism. The cat's face in the last panel is the universal expression of "I've been using const_cast this whole time for nothing." Nothing quite says "expert" like realizing fundamental language features have been hiding in plain sight since 1998.

Oh my goodness, this is TOO REAL ! 😂 C header files are like that friendly neighbor who just tells you what they can do. But C++ header files? They're that chaotic friend who shows up with their entire life story, template metaprogramming nightmares, and 17 nested namespaces! You open one expecting a simple interface and suddenly you're staring into the void of implementation details that would make Cthulhu weep. Every C++ developer knows that feeling when you include one innocent header and your compile time suddenly jumps to "maybe finish before the heat death of the universe." The header should include interface only... but C++ had other plans!

Oh, the TRAUMA of traditional game development! 😱 Google's AI guru is basically saying "Sweetie, why suffer through actual programming when you can just ~vibe~ your way to a game?" The audacity of suggesting we'll create games by just vibing with AI instead of sobbing through C++ pointer errors at 3 AM! The next 100M "developers" won't know the exquisite pain of debugging memory leaks or the character-building agony of compiler errors. They'll just... VIBE?! Is this the coding apocalypse? The death of suffering as a programmer rite of passage?! I'm clutching my mechanical keyboard in absolute HORROR! 💀

The ultimate programmer dad joke that makes CS professors chuckle smugly. In Boolean logic, !false (the logical NOT of false) evaluates to true . So technically, the statement "!false is true" is... well, true. It's like the programming equivalent of saying "the opposite of a lie is the truth" but with syntax that makes non-programmers stare blankly while developers snort coffee through their noses.

The classic programmer journey from self-righteousness to self-sabotage in three easy steps: First, you write a verbose, descriptive function name that perfectly documents what it does. You feel virtuous. Clean code! Self-documenting! Then, you realize typing that monstrosity repeatedly is killing your productivity. So you create a wrapper function with a shorter name. Problem solved! Finally, you're faced with your creation in production code: if (cumming()) - and suddenly you remember why code reviews exist. Your future maintainers will either die laughing or hunt you down with pitchforks. And this, friends, is why naming things remains one of the two hardest problems in computer science.

Ah yes, the most deterministic random number generator ever created. This function declares an uninitialized integer 'd', then immediately returns it. Congratulations, you've successfully implemented a "random" number generator that returns whatever garbage value happened to be sitting in that memory location. It's random in the sense that you have no idea what you're getting, but it's definitely not what anyone requesting a random number would want. Task failed successfully.