C++ Makes Me Cry

The expectation vs. reality of game development in one perfect image! The bright-eyed optimist on the right is living in a fantasy world where making games is all creativity and fun. Meanwhile, the exhausted dev on the left has seen the dark side - the endless debugging of physics engines, memory leaks that appear only in production, and that one shader that refuses to compile for no logical reason. It's the classic "I'll just make a simple 2D platformer" that somehow morphs into "Why am I implementing my own quaternion math library at 4am?" pipeline. Game development: where your dreams go to get refactored into nightmares.

Ah yes, the anti-programming manifesto from someone who clearly had their code compile on the first try and couldn't handle the success. The author seems to believe computers should just magically do math without being told how. Next they'll expect their car to drive without a steering wheel because "wheels are circles, not driving devices." My favorite part is complaining about recursive methods with threads while typing this rant on a device powered by... wait for it... programming. That's like yelling at clouds for raining while standing under an umbrella. And that final while(true){ print(money); } snippet? If only it were that easy. I've been running that code for years and my bank account remains stubbornly unimpressed.

When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

Surviving data structures feels like a victory until you realize it's just the warm-up act. The real bosses are waiting: algorithms that hit like a truck, compilers that'll make you question your career choices, and operating systems lurking in the shadows like the final boss you're not remotely prepared for. Every CS student thinks they've conquered the mountain after their first linked list, only to discover they're still in the tutorial level. The industry veterans just watch with coffee in hand, knowing exactly how this story ends.

The classic "I know kung fu" moment, but for programming nerds. Some hotshot claims they "use C++ in JavaScript" and when challenged, reveals their groundbreaking technique: a for loop with c++ as the iterator. That's like saying you speak French because you can say "bonjour." The violence in the last panel is completely justified - that's just standard code review procedure for crimes against programming languages. This is why senior devs drink so much coffee.

The ultimate flex in programming isn't driving a Mercedes—it's using 32 bits when 1 would do just fine. Sure, booleans only need a single bit to represent true/false, but why be efficient when you can waste 31 extra bits using an integer instead? Memory optimization? In this economy? Please. We've got terabytes of RAM now. The same developers who argue over 5KB in a JavaScript library will happily burn 32x the memory for every boolean value because changing the data type now requires actual work. It's the digital equivalent of using a sledgehammer to hang a picture frame—technically works, but your walls (and your code) will never forgive you.