The #1 Programmer Excuse For Legitimately Slacking Off

Content rAskReddit Posted by uworldtraveler100 10h What technology are you shocked has not advanced yet? 4 26.8k J 14.6k Share Award BEST COMMENTS RegulatoryCapture 4h 1 Award The legal code. Computer programmers have come up with beautiful collab- orative change tracking systems (like git) that let you easily make changes to a huge base of code, track who changed what, submit and resolve conflicting versions of updates, etc. But when we pass a new bill that replaces or modifies an old law, it is always some 300 page document with pages of "Subsection F Paragraph 3 will be modified to read 'XYZ' Why not put the laws into a git repository and make it easy for bills to just modify the existing history to say what you want it to say? And why not have the transparency to see exactly what changes and WHO implemented that change? Want to slip some pork for your district into an unrelated bill? Well, that edit is going to have your name on it. Of course it will never happen. Reply 928 J imtn 1h Who the heck wrote this ridiculous bill? git blame Ah, I did. 217

Content Data Analytics Engineer Stomble Sydney, New South Wales, Australia (Remote) in Easy Apply Save The successful applicant should have knowledge of: Creating databases Data Visualizations Understanding of where to apply Machine Learning algorithms such as Linear Regression, Multiple Regression, K means clustering etc Recommendation Systems (Preferred) Web APIs. (Preferred) Technologies required: Python SQL and NoSQL databases (DynamoDB Prefered) Web development knowledge. HTML, CSS andJAVASCRIPT. (Preferred) Knowledge of AWS is Preferred. Knowledge of Analytics tools like Tableau, AWS QuickSight Version Control (Git). Required Education: Currently completing master's or bachelor's in computer scienceIT Data Scienceengineering. The responsibilities and attributes are: - Eager to solve challenging problems. - Has done prior freelance work. - Willingness to work as part of a cross-functional team environment. - You thrive on innovation and experimentation. - You can work and deliver work on deadlines. - Getting your hands dirty in real-world tasks and problems. Do not apply if: Can not work unpaid.

Content USER I HATE THIS PROGRAM! THE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS WHO WROTE THIS WERE DUMBASSES! LANGUAGE DESIGNER IHATE THIS ENVIRONMENT! THE ENGINEERS WHO CREATED THIS SYSTEM WERE DUMBASSES! PHYSICIST MAN, FUCK GRAVITY 2010-2011 SOMETHINGOFTHATILK.COM PROGRAMMER IHATE THIS LANGUAGE! THE DESIGNERS WHO CREATED THIS LANGUAGE WERE DUMBASSES! ENGINEER IHATE BULDING THIS CIRCUTRY! THE PHYSICISTS WHO DISCOVERED THESE LAWS WERE DUMBASSES!

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments

The tech world's dirty little secret is finally exposed! Our entire digital civilization balances precariously on the shoulders of sleep-deprived open source devs who maintain critical packages with nothing but coffee and Stack Overflow karma. The meme perfectly captures how massive profit machines like AWS and Cloudflare are just fancy facades built atop the Linux Foundation and DNS—systems maintained by volunteers who occasionally receive a sticker as compensation. Meanwhile, Microsoft is off in its own dimension doing... whatever it is Microsoft does these days. And AI? Just another shiny distraction bolted onto this rickety foundation. Next time your CEO brags about your company's "robust infrastructure," remember it's all running on code written by someone in their pajamas at 2 AM who's debugging a critical package for fun.

The SRE just found the ultimate loophole to the genie's billion-dollar challenge, and the genie immediately shut that down faster than you can say "unexpected billing alert." Anyone who's ever deployed anything on AWS knows that mysterious $100M bill is just a few forgotten EC2 instances away. One day you're launching a "small test environment," the next day you're explaining to your CEO why your startup needs another funding round just to pay this month's cloud bill. Even supernatural beings with infinite cosmic power know better than to mess with AWS pricing. The fourth rule? "No cloud services that scale automatically and drain your life savings while you sleep."