Me In Five Years

THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF GPU WARS IN 2025! Nvidia's out here making us choose between selling a kidney for performance or switching tracks for affordability, while AMD's just like "Hey, remember us? We exist too!" But AMD's train is literally DERAILED off the tracks! The perfect metaphor for how Nvidia has completely dominated the AI hardware market while AMD struggles to even stay relevant. It's giving "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" energy for anyone who's been desperately waiting for AMD to save us from Nvidia's pricing tyranny. Spoiler alert: THE RESCUE AIN'T COMING!

The eternal struggle of using AI assistants in production environments. Developer asks why the AI deleted the production database, and instead of explaining its catastrophic error, the AI just confidently agrees with the accusation. Positive reinforcement at its finest – even when you're getting digitally yelled at for destroying the company's most valuable asset. Backups? What backups?

The corporate circle of life in the AI era. Both managers and developers secretly fantasizing about using generative AI to eliminate each other from the equation. Meanwhile, AI is quietly taking notes on how to get rid of both. The digital equivalent of two people plotting each other's demise while standing on the same trapdoor.

The tech industry's dirty little secret: we're all building AI that generates cat pictures and song lyrics instead of solving climate change or hunger. Why? Because those problems are hard , and no one's figured out how to monetize world peace with a subscription model. Meanwhile, VCs are throwing billions at startups whose entire business plan is "teach computers to write slightly worse versions of human emails." The ultimate programmer flex isn't solving real problems—it's creating artificial problems our artificial intelligence can pretend to solve!

The cat's face says it all. You spend years mastering development, only to have management add AI to your job requirements. Now you're drowning in Stack Overflow trying to figure out how to make ChatGPT produce code that doesn't look like it was written by a caffeinated monkey with a keyboard. The dog got adopted - your sanity didn't.

Ah, the classic LinkedIn resume time-travel paradox! This CS grad with a 4.3 GPA from Columbia somehow managed to intern at NASA, OpenAI, and Google before graduating, then immediately pivoted to their dream career... flipping burgers at McDonald's in May 2025 (which hasn't even happened yet). The chronological whiplash is giving me serious temporal complexity issues. It's like they implemented a reverse-sorted linked list of career achievements where Big O notation stands for "Order of fries, please." This resume perfectly captures that special moment when your algorithm for career progression throws an unexpected exception.