Future Memes

Posts tagged with Future

No One Documents (Until The AI Arrives)

No One Documents (Until The AI Arrives)
The future is here, folks. Remember when we couldn't be bothered to document our code for other humans? Now we're suddenly motivated to write pristine docs... for our AI overlords. Nothing says "priorities straight" like ignoring your colleagues for years but immediately catering to ChatGPT's needs. Future archaeologists will discover perfectly documented codebases that no human ever read.

I Kinda Want One Now

I Kinda Want One Now
Remember those predictions about technology freeing us from labor? Yeah, instead we're crafting circuit board arrowheads for the post-apocalyptic tech hunting grounds. Nothing says "advanced civilization" quite like using a motherboard to hunt your dinner after the AI rebellion. Silicon Valley's final contribution to humanity: slightly more efficient spearheads for the neo-tribal warfare that follows after all our smart devices decide we're the real bug in the system.

They Must Have Mixed It Up With Another Hub

They Must Have Mixed It Up With Another Hub
Ah yes, Australia's brilliant tech literacy strikes again! Apparently, the dangerous code repositories where developers store their work are just as threatening to children as dance videos and lip-syncing. Someone clearly confused "pushing to master" with some other kind of content. Next up: Stack Overflow to be rated 18+ because all those rejected code snippets might cause emotional damage. The date being 2025 is the cherry on top. At least we have 8 months to prepare for this groundbreaking legislation from people who probably think "git pull" is something you do at a pub.

Make Sure To Only Ever Have One Type Of Sensor In Your Device

Make Sure To Only Ever Have One Type Of Sensor In Your Device
Ah, the classic "cameras ftw" approach to autonomous driving. Nothing says "trust me with your life at 70mph" like removing redundant safety systems because they occasionally disagree. It's like firing the co-pilot because sometimes they suggest a different route than the GPS. Next update: replacing airbags with motivational stickers that say "just don't crash." For the uninitiated: LiDAR uses laser pulses to measure distances, radar uses radio waves, and cameras use... well, cameras. Most autonomous vehicle experts believe multiple sensor types provide crucial redundancy. But who needs backup systems when you've got vibes?

Github In 2035

Github In 2035
The year is 2035. Your GitHub page now takes 15 minutes to load because it's scanning your code with 47 different AI tools, showing ads for Microsoft products, and suggesting you upgrade to Copilot Premium Plus Pro Max. Meanwhile, your diff is still "loading in 2 seconds" like it has been for the past decade. Progress! The real kicker? You'll still need to explain to the AI assistant why your perfectly valid code isn't actually a security vulnerability for the 500th time this week. But hey, at least now it can suggest you build a Pong game while you wait!

It's 2025: Microsoft's Terrifying GitHub Request

It's 2025: Microsoft's Terrifying GitHub Request
The year is 2025. Microsoft has fully absorbed GitHub, and the dystopian nightmare begins. GitHub users cower in fear as Microsoft whispers "Come closer..." only to drop the bombshell: "I NEED YOU TO ADD IPV6 SUPPORT TO GITHUB." It's the ultimate plot twist! After all the fears of Microsoft injecting telemetry, ads, or subscription tiers into GitHub, they're just desperately trying to drag their acquisition into modern networking standards. Still running on legacy IPv4 in 2025? That's the real horror story! The internet ran out of IPv4 addresses years ago, but GitHub's still clinging to them like SpongeBob to his spatula.

Few Things Won't Change

Few Things Won't Change
The year is 2070. Flying cars exist. We've colonized Mars. Quantum computing powers everything. But the Linux kernel? Still not "vibe code." Some poor maintainer is getting a pull request rejected because Linus doesn't think their commit messages spark joy. 50 years from now and we'll still be using git, still dealing with legacy code from the 90s, and still arguing about tabs vs spaces. The more technology advances, the more kernel development stays exactly the same.

The Future Of Corporate Communication

The Future Of Corporate Communication
The most concise press release in gaming history, dated from the future (2025). When all the corporate PR speak, buzzwords, and diplomatic language finally collapse under their own weight, and someone just types what every developer actually wants to say after the 47th regulatory change. That single line statement is basically every game dev's internal monologue during crunch time or after reading yet another clueless policy proposal. The future of professional communications looks surprisingly honest.

Me In Five Years

Me In Five Years
The resume inflation has begun! We've all seen that one colleague who suddenly became an "AI expert" after using ChatGPT twice. Five years from now, we'll be sitting in interviews listening to people explain how they've been "pioneering machine learning solutions" since 2023, when in reality they just figured out how to prompt an LLM without it hallucinating too badly. The true AI skill of our generation? Convincing robots not to write poems when you just want them to fix your regex.

The Great VRAM Crisis Of 2035

The Great VRAM Crisis Of 2035
OH MY GOD, the ABSOLUTE STATE of game development in 2035! 😂 Two game devs practically LOSING THEIR MINDS with hysterical laughter over the most REVOLUTIONARY concept ever - a game that can run on a WHOPPING 24GB of VRAM! Meanwhile, current AAA games are already devouring our graphics cards like they're at an all-you-can-eat VRAM buffet! At this rate, by 2035 we'll need small nuclear reactors just to run the title screen of GTA 7! The optimization apocalypse is upon us, people!

Kids In 2045

Kids In 2045
Future playground insults just got upgraded from "Your mom" jokes to "Your mom codes in VibeCoder" — implying she uses some fictional 2045 programming language that's so outdated or cringe it's basically the equivalent of coding COBOL on punch cards while wearing socks with sandals. The real burn is that by 2045, we'll probably all be begging AI to fix our legacy React code while it silently judges our primitive syntax.

VSCode Updates Be Like

VSCode Updates Be Like
Visual Studio Code from the future is apparently just an AI delivery system now. The "many updates" in the March 2025 release can be summarized as: AI, AI, AI, AI, AI, and... wait for it... AI! Microsoft's subtle approach to feature diversity is truly inspiring. Why bother with performance improvements, bug fixes, or new developer tools when you can just repeat "AI" six times and call it a day? Coming in version 2.0: Your code now writes itself while simultaneously reporting everything you do to Skynet. But hey, at least it autocompletes your semicolons correctly!