Resume Memes

Thanks Copilot

1 day ago 65.4K views 0 shares

When GitHub Copilot writes your resume for you and decides to include a confession. Nothing says "hire me" quite like letting your AI assistant admit you're "not a good programmer" right after listing all your skills. At least the Tab Accept button is right there to quickly embrace your new identity crisis.

Green Squares = Instant Wealth

Git Webdev Devops Programming

5 days ago 66.8K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the sacred GitHub contribution chart—where quantity trumps quality. This person has 10,306 commits in a year, which is roughly 28 commits every single day . Either they're a coding superhuman or they've discovered the ancient art of git commit -m "fix typo" && git push automation. Recruiters see green squares and immediately think "coding genius" instead of "probable bot owner." The real skill here isn't programming—it's convincing people that updating README files 10,000 times is worth half a million dollars. And they say AI is coming for our jobs...

Presidential Debate Bug Fix

Python Programming

5 days ago 74.1K views 0 shares

OH. MY. GOD. This developer just single-handedly solved the entire presidential debate format with like 10 lines of Python! 🙄 The code basically ensures only ONE microphone works at a time - a technological MIRACLE that apparently escaped the minds of debate organizers for DECADES! Because obviously, turning off someone's mic requires a sophisticated if-elif-else statement and not, you know, a BUTTON. The comment "This will prevent old people from talking over each other" is just *chef's kiss* the perfect blend of shade and technical documentation. Submitting this as a resume? GENIUS! Nothing says "hire me immediately" like solving national political discourse with conditional statements! 💅

I Have Work Experience

Javascript Webdev Programming Frontend

7 days ago 77.8K views 0 shares

When your JS skills are so hot that recruiters think you can mix a mean cocktail. Nothing says "tech career pinnacle" like getting job offers to pour drinks because you know how to center a div. Five years of React experience and the algorithm thinks you'd be great at remembering which drinks need little umbrellas. Might as well put "can operate a blender" on your LinkedIn profile next to "full stack developer."

Glad To Hear You Never

Programming

9 days ago 59.7K views 0 shares

That gleeful smile when your 15 years of coding experience, 3 GitHub repos with 1000+ stars, and custom-built compiler don't match their automated keyword filter looking for "5+ years experience in a framework released 2 years ago." Your resume never stood a chance against the mighty ATS that can't tell Python from a snake. But hey, at least they'll send you a rejection email in 6-8 business months!

Would You Hire Him

Programming Git StackOverflow

23 days ago 81.3K views 0 shares

Nothing triggers impostor syndrome quite like scrolling through GitHub and finding Luigi here with dual CS degrees from an Ivy League school, 3500 followers, and probably a contribution graph that looks like a Manhattan skyline. Meanwhile, you're still struggling to center a div and your most impressive achievement is fixing a bug by restarting your computer. The cherry on top? He's probably 22 and already has FAANG offers while you're surviving on Stack Overflow copypasta and praying nobody reviews your code too carefully. But hey, at least you know how to exit Vim... sometimes.

State Of Certifications: No Hands On

AWS Devops Programming Cloud

25 days ago 107.4K views 0 shares

The classic certification-vs-reality gap strikes again. Someone shows up to an interview flaunting 12 AWS certifications, only to reveal they've never actually touched the AWS console. It's like having 12 different driver's licenses but asking "what's a steering wheel?" when you get in the car. The hiring manager's face says it all - another resume padder who can pass multiple-choice tests but would crash production on day one.

Found A Really Fun One

Programming Webdev Frontend

1 month ago 64.8K views 0 shares

Oh my goodness, this is PEAK resume padding energy! 😂 That one sad little "Hello World" program standing awkwardly among your professional projects like it BELONGS there! Nothing screams "desperate to fill white space" like putting your first-ever for-loop next to your actual accomplishments! It's the coding equivalent of listing "proficient at Microsoft Word" when applying to be a senior developer! The contrast is just *chef's kiss* perfect - your fancy React project right next to "I once made a calculator that sometimes works"!

Interns Be Like

Programming Webdev

1 month ago 67.3K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic tech interview credential paradox, perfectly captured by "Former Child" as the only qualification. Nothing says "I can reverse a binary tree" quite like bragging that you've successfully completed the tutorial level of human existence. Tech companies want 5 years of experience in a framework that's 3 years old, but hey—I've been breathing for 25 years straight without a single outage! That's 99.9999% uptime, baby. Resume padding has never been so honest.

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