If AI Learns From My Code, Doesn't It Mean My Job Is Safe?

Foreign intelligence agencies are having their easiest day ever. Nothing says "career suicide" quite like uploading Department of Defense codebase to a random AI app with a blue whale logo. The intern's about to learn why security clearances exist and why "helpful" free apps are sometimes just fancy honeypots. Next week's headline: "Former intern seeks asylum in country with no extradition treaty."

Look at these peasants SPRINTING to ChatGPT while the door to actual knowledge stands wide open and COMPLETELY ABANDONED! Why learn binary trees when an AI can vomit code for you?! The absolute BETRAYAL of computer science fundamentals! Meanwhile, universities are still teaching sorting algorithms like it's 1995 and not like we're living in the AI APOCALYPSE. The data structures door might as well have cobwebs on it at this point!

Management: "Embrace AI tools to boost productivity!" Team: "Let's use AI to draft hilarious resignation letters!" Nothing says "our workplace is thriving" quite like your entire biomedical research team spending company time crafting fake pirate-themed resignation letters. The irony is just *chef's kiss* - they're technically following orders while simultaneously planning their escape routes. Corporate AI initiatives backfiring into a festival of fantasy quitting scenarios might be the most honest performance review feedback ever delivered.

Ever opened a PR from an AI and seen comments like // This is a for loop that iterates through the array ? Welcome to the world of AI-generated documentation—where stating the painfully obvious is considered helpful. It's like having that one intern who explains what a keyboard is every time you sit down to code. Next up: ChatGPT will helpfully inform you that your function returns a value and that variables store data. Revolutionary stuff.

The tables have turned. After months of answering everyone's questions about recursion and bubble sort for the millionth time, ChatGPT is now desperately reaching out to the ultimate authority figure - Chuck Norris. The irony of an AI language model asking permission to ask a question from a man who can compile C++ code just by staring at it is peak 2023 energy. Next thing you know, Stack Overflow moderators will start marking Chuck's answers as duplicates.

OH. MY. GOD. The "super intelligent" AI can't even grasp the most BASIC rule of chess?! 🙄 White moves first, sweetie! The fact that ChatGPT confidently makes the first move while playing black and then has the AUDACITY to suggest the same move to the human player is just... *chef's kiss* peak AI incompetence. This is why we're still light-years away from true AGI, people! Can't even handle a simple board game without a total meltdown of logic. And yet the tech bros keep screaming "THE SINGULARITY IS COMING!!!" Sure, Jan. Maybe teach your precious AI to play chess first? 💅