AI Will Replace Programmers (After We Define 'Something')

When your code is on fire but you've already committed to the "move fast and break things" philosophy. The AI is like "no no no, everything is still bricked from your last change" and the developer's brilliant solution? "Great idea, let's build Dark Mode!" Because nothing says "I'm addressing the root problem" like slapping a new coat of paint on a burning building. It's the digital equivalent of putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb and saying "fixed it!" Classic developer priorities—who needs functional code when you can have aesthetic darkness?

The AUDACITY of modern development! While the rest of us are drowning in Stack Overflow tabs and questioning our career choices, "vibe coders" are out here summoning AI agents with mystical cauldrons and threatening them with PUNISHMENT if they don't fix bugs! 💀 It's giving "I don't debug, I just intimidate my code until it works" energy. The AI agent in that cauldron is probably thinking "I didn't get trained on 10 trillion parameters for THIS kind of toxic workplace environment!" Meanwhile, the rest of us are manually fixing array indices like PEASANTS.

Ah, the utopian fantasy where developers actually use type systems properly instead of throwing AI at everything! Imagine a world where we didn't have to debug cryptic runtime errors at 2 AM because someone thought any was a perfectly acceptable type for everything. This futuristic paradise could be ours if people spent half the time they waste prompting ChatGPT on actually learning TypeScript properly. But no, we'd rather ask AI to generate 200 lines of untyped spaghetti code than write a proper interface. Who needs flying cars when you can have undefined is not a function?

When your sorting algorithm is just "Hey ChatGPT, can you sort this for me?" 🤣 Finally, a sorting algorithm with O(API_call) complexity! Sure, it might take 3 seconds instead of 0.000001, but why implement quicksort when you can outsource your basic CS skills to an AI that probably learned from the Stack Overflow answers you were too lazy to read? Next up: VibeSearch - for when binary search is just too much work.

The brutal honesty of this hits harder than a production outage on Friday afternoon. Nobody's writing code from scratch anymore—not ChatGPT, not developers, not even that one colleague who claims they never use Stack Overflow. Modern programming is basically sophisticated copy-paste with extra steps. We're all just standing on the shoulders of GitHub repos and praying the dependencies don't break. The real innovation is knowing which code to steal and how to make it look like you didn't.

Putting on glasses to transform from "LLM Engineer" to "Knows about openai, anthropic and google-genai package" is peak tech industry smoke and mirrors. It's like calling yourself a "Cloud Architect" because you once deployed a WordPress site to AWS. The glasses don't add intelligence—they just help you see through the BS of your own job title. Next time someone introduces themselves as an "LLM Engineer," ask them if they can actually explain a transformer architecture or if they just know how to copy-paste API keys.