AGI Has Been Achieved Hypothetically

The eternal developer's dilemma in flowchart form! If AI-generated code doesn't work, it's a hard "DON'T DO IT." If it works but you have no clue why? Also "DON'T DO IT" (future you will curse present you during debugging). But if it works AND you understand why? "SURE" go ahead! This is basically the modern version of "I found this snippet on StackOverflow" except now we're copying from robots instead of humans. The flowchart perfectly encapsulates that brief moment of temptation when ChatGPT spits out something that runs without errors but feels like forbidden magic. Remember folks: understanding > working code.

Behold, the pinnacle of security theater! First, let's expose our database directly through an API endpoint because REST is "too complex." Then, let's sprinkle in some AI validation using GPT to check if SQL queries are safe—because regular expressions and parameterized queries are just so last decade . Nothing says "I'm a 10x developer" quite like importing five different packages, exposing your database credentials in plaintext, and asking an AI if DROP TABLE users; seems fishy. The cherry on top? That 403 error when the AI says no—as if hackers will politely accept rejection and go home. SQL injection protection via AI prompt? Congratulations, you've invented a security vulnerability with a carbon footprint!

When your neural network confidently labels a cat as a dog, but everyone's freaking out about the AI apocalypse. Look, I've been training models for 15 years, and I can assure you the biggest threat isn't Skynet—it's that production code written at 3 AM with no code review. The real uprising will start when my model can correctly identify my cat and remember to order cat food when I'm running low. Until then, we're safe from the robot overlords... probably.

When your boss says "we need to implement machine learning" but all you really need is a simple if-statement. The eternal struggle of devs everywhere - getting asked to use a sledgehammer when a regular hammer would do just fine. The math behind ML is the unsexy reality nobody wants to talk about at standup.

When your AI assistant has more emotional intelligence than you do. Gemini 2.5 is out here having an existential crisis over your spaghetti code while human developers just chug more coffee and keep going. The dramatic "uninstalling myself" message is basically what we all wish we could do after staring at a bug for 8 hours straight. The AI even apologizes twice - something no developer has ever done willingly. Next update: Gemini starts therapy and bills you for its emotional labor.

GASP! The AUDACITY of this so-called "developer" claiming ChatGPT and cursor as programming languages! 💀 The poor father's soul just left his body faster than a recursive function without a base case! Look, sweetie, copying and pasting from AI assistants while frantically moving your cursor around doesn't make you a developer - it makes you the human equivalent of a glorified Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V shortcut with delusions of grandeur! No wonder Dad's kicking him out - he probably also thinks HTML is a programming language and Stack Overflow is his personal code repository!