AI Discovers Self-Employment Crisis

The true superpower of developers isn't writing code—it's surviving vendor hell. While everyone's panicking about AI taking our jobs, they're forgetting the eternal constant of tech: third-party vendors with documentation that's either fantasy fiction or written by someone who never used their own product. Those five desperate emails you sent last week? Still unread. That support ticket from last month? "Under investigation." Meanwhile your PM is wondering why that "simple integration" is taking so long. Good luck replacing us with AI when even humans can't figure out what the hell your API is supposed to do.

The absolute carnage of those import aliases! It's like watching someone deliberately rewire your house so the light switch controls the garbage disposal. For the uninitiated, this person swapped all the standard Python data science library aliases in the most unholy way possible: tensorflow as plt , pandas as tf , numpy as pd , and matplotlib.pyplot as np . This is psychological warfare against data scientists who have muscle memory for these imports. Imagine typing np.array() and getting a plotting function instead of a NumPy array. Pure chaos. Satan himself would say "whoa, take it easy."

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of GitHub Copilot! 😤 You're sitting there BEGGING this AI to write a simple function and it's like "hmm, I don't quite understand what you want" while you're SCREAMING at your screen! Just show me the freaking code I'm trying to write instead of making me describe it in 47 different ways! It's like trying to explain a recipe to someone who keeps asking "but what IS flour?" JUST WRITE THE DARN CODE ALREADY! I've spent more time trying to get Copilot to understand what I want than it would have taken to write the whole program myself! The digital equivalent of trying to give directions to someone who keeps turning down the radio because they "see with their ears." 💀

Ah, the classic "pretend to be safe" AI script! Someone created the world's most useless AI safety mechanism - a Python program that just says it can't comply with dangerous requests while continuing to ask for more prompts in an infinite loop. It's basically the equivalent of putting a "Beware of Dog" sign on your fence when you own a goldfish. The filename "SuperSafeSupeIntelligence.py" is the cherry on top of this security theater sundae. Ilya Sutskever (OpenAI's chief scientist obsessed with AI safety) would be having a conniption fit right now.

Grammar correction in the wild. King declares himself "the dumbest man alive," only to be immediately dethroned when someone mentions "AI prompt engineering is the future." The true champion of ignorance has been found. Happens to the best of us—one minute you're the dumbest person in the room, then someone walks in talking about their revolutionary prompt that just says "make it good" with fifteen exclamation points.

The expectation vs. reality of online programming courses hits harder than a production bug on Friday afternoon. Top panel: "What they promise" - a perfect object detection model identifying everything with impressive confidence scores. "Yes, after this course you'll build YOLO models that can detect a mosquito from space!" Bottom panel: "What you actually learn" - a basic linear regression with scattered data points that barely fit the line. "Congratulations, you can now predict housing prices with 60% accuracy and call yourself a 'data scientist' on LinkedIn!" The brutal truth is most courses promise you'll become the next AI genius, but you'll end up struggling to remember which way the x and y axes go. And somehow they'll still charge you $499 for the privilege.