Programming Memes and Humor · ProgrammerHumor.io

It Prints Some Underscores And Dots

23 minutes ago 6.5K views 0 shares

HR interviewer asks what this code prints, and honestly? Same energy as asking "where do you see yourself in five years?" Nobody knows, nobody wants to figure it out, and the correct answer is probably "somewhere else." This is peak technical interview theater. The code is intentionally obfuscated garbage with single-letter variables, nested loops, random conditionals, and what appears to be an attempt to summon a daemon. It's the programming equivalent of asking someone to translate ancient Sumerian while standing on one leg. The real skill being tested here isn't "can you trace this code" but "can you maintain a professional smile while internally screaming." Spoiler: it probably prints underscores and dots in some pattern. Or segfaults. Either way, you're not getting hired based on this answer.

Do Not Name Your Assembly Files This

Linux Security Bash Programming

48 minutes ago 13.0K views 0 shares

Someone really went ahead and named their assembly file org.asm and now it's sitting there with executable permissions like a loaded gun. The problem? On Unix systems, if you accidentally type ./org.asm instead of opening it in an editor, you're about to execute random assembly code. It's like naming your pet tiger "Fluffy" – technically you can do it, but it doesn't make it any less dangerous. The real kicker is that org.asm sounds innocent enough, probably short for "organization" or something equally boring. But those -rwxr-xr-x permissions are screaming "I'm executable!" Meanwhile, paste.asm is chilling right below it, probably containing clipboard management code, which is somehow less terrifying than whatever organizational chaos is about to unfold. Pro tip: If your file extension already screams "source code," maybe don't give it a name that makes it sound like a command you'd actually want to run. Save the cryptic three-letter names for your startup.

Finally We Are Safe

Programming Webdev Cloud

2 hours ago 33.4K views 0 shares

Jim Cramer just blessed us with his wisdom about software dying and hardware rising. For those who don't know, Jim Cramer is basically the inverse oracle of investing - whatever he predicts, bet on the exact opposite happening. His track record is so consistently wrong that he's become a contrarian indicator. So when he says software is collapsing and hardware is ascending, every developer just breathed a collective sigh of relief. Our jobs are safe, the cloud isn't going anywhere, and SaaS companies can keep printing money. Thanks Jim, you beautiful reverse prophet. The man could predict rain in a desert and somehow the Sahara would get drier. Software engineers everywhere are now updating their LinkedIn with "Jim Cramer said software is dead" as job security insurance.

When You Format The New SSD

Linux Devops Hardware

3 hours ago 52.5K views 0 shares

You just unboxed your shiny new 1TB SSD, formatted it with btrfs like a proper Linux enthusiast, and suddenly you're staring at 0.73 TiB of usable space. The guy in the painting? That's you, pointing accusingly at the manufacturer like they personally robbed you of 270 GB. Here's the thing: manufacturers count in decimal (1 TB = 1,000,000,000,000 bytes) while your OS counts in binary (1 TiB = 1,099,511,627,776 bytes). Add in filesystem overhead, and boom—your "1 TB" drive is actually 0.91 TiB before formatting, then drops to 0.73 TiB after. It's technically not a scam, but it sure feels like one when you're trying to install yet another 200GB game. Marketing departments have been pulling this move since floppy disks, and we still fall for it every single time.

Forgive Me Father

Programming

3 hours ago 58.5K views 0 shares

We've all been there—staring at a codebase that desperately needs refactoring, but the deadline is tomorrow and you just need it to work . So you copy-paste that function for the third time, slap an O(n³) algorithm where a hash map would do, and ship it with a guilty conscience. The confessional booth awaits, but deep down you know you'll do it again next sprint. At least you're not using nested ternary operators... yet.

Senior Devs...

Programming Csharp Java Backend

4 hours ago 64.7K views 0 shares

Oh, the sheer GENIUS of it all! Senior devs out here creating AbstractFactoryFactoryProviderBuilderManagers just to avoid writing a simple if-statement. Why solve a problem in 5 lines when you can architect an entire galaxy of design patterns, interfaces, and dependency injection frameworks? They'll spend three weeks building "scalable infrastructure" for a feature that literally just needs to check if a number is greater than zero. The celebration? Chef's kiss. They've just turned a straightforward solution into something that requires a PhD to understand. Future maintainers will weep, but at least it's "enterprise-ready" and follows SOLID principles so hard it became LIQUID.

Infra As React

AWS Devops React Javascript Frontend

5 hours ago 83.1K views 0 shares

Someone really woke up and said "You know what DevOps needs? More JSX." Because apparently writing infrastructure as code in YAML or HCL wasn't hipster enough, so now we're defining VPCs, RDS instances, and Lambda functions with React components and className props. Nothing screams "production-ready" quite like treating your AWS infrastructure like it's a frontend component library. Next thing you know, someone's gonna useState() to manage their Kubernetes cluster state and useEffect() to provision EC2 instances. The fact that it generates actual Terraform files is both impressive and deeply concerning – like watching someone build a house with a spoon and somehow succeeding.

Graphics Inflation

Hardware Gamedev Frontend

6 hours ago 108.7K views 0 shares

Remember when 720p was basically IMAX quality and you felt like you were living in the future? Now it's what you get when your streaming service decides you don't deserve bandwidth. Same resolution, different emotional response. Back then, upgrading from 480p to 720p was like seeing for the first time. Now 720p is what loads when you're on your phone's hotspot in a Walmart parking lot. Technology didn't change—our standards did. Welcome to the hedonic treadmill, display edition.

Do You Prefer Fluffy UI Over Liquid Glass?

Frontend Webdev Android Ios

9 hours ago 149.4K views 0 shares

Do You Prefer Fluffy UI Over Liquid Glass?

Someone went full arts-and-crafts mode and turned their phone into a tactile nightmare. Every UI element is literally covered in felt, fur, and what appears to be the remnants of a craft store explosion. The Gmail widget looks like it's been through a dryer cycle, the camera icon has achieved maximum fluffiness, and that Google search bar? It's basically a caterpillar now. The "fluffy UI" vs "liquid glass" debate just got physical. While Apple and Google spend millions on perfecting their glassmorphism, neumorphism, and material design languages, this person said "nah, I want my interface to feel like petting a sheep." The volume controls have individual fur coats, and the music widget looks like it's wearing a shag carpet. Props for the commitment though—every single element is meticulously crafted. This is what happens when a frontend developer discovers a hot glue gun and loses all sense of restraint. Your battery life might be fine, but your lint roller is definitely crying.

What Do I Need The Include Lines For

C++ Programming Debugging

11 hours ago 182.9K views 0 shares

Someone just discovered the secret to writing memory-safe C code: free your memory before you allocate it. Galaxy brain move right there. The cherry on top? They included assert.h like they're about to write production-quality code with proper error handling, but then immediately went full chaos mode with free(&malloc()) . That's like putting on a seatbelt before driving off a cliff. Pro tip: Those include statements are actually the only correct part of this code. Everything after line 5 is a war crime against computing.

Binary Search My Life

Algorithms Programming

12 hours ago 186.8K views 1 shares

Binary search requires O(log n) time complexity, but only if your array is sorted first. Otherwise you're just randomly guessing in the middle of chaos. Kind of like trying to find the exact moment your life went off the rails by checking your mid-twenties, then your teens, then... wait, it's all unsorted? Always has been. The brutal honesty here is that you can't efficiently debug your life decisions when they're scattered across time in no particular order. You need that sweet O(log n) efficiency, but instead you're stuck with O(n) linear search through every regret. Sort yourself out first, then we'll talk algorithms.

Look At This Junk!

Programming Debugging

12 hours ago 191.4K views 1 shares

You know that feeling when you revisit your old code and suddenly wonder if you were drunk, sleep-deprived, or just fundamentally broken as a human being? Two months is that perfect sweet spot where the code is old enough to be incomprehensible, but recent enough that you can't blame a different version of yourself. The horror sets in when you realize there are no comments, variable names like x2 and temp_final_ACTUAL , and a function that's somehow 400 lines long. You start questioning your career choices, your education, and whether that CS degree was worth anything at all. The real kicker? It works perfectly in production. You're terrified to touch it because you have absolutely no idea how or why it functions. It's like archaeological code—best left buried and undisturbed.

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