Game Devs Then And Now

Game Devs Then And Now
Back in the day, game devs were basically wizards who could fit an entire PlayStation game into a 64 MB N64 cartridge through sheer coding sorcery and optimization black magic. They were out here writing assembly code by candlelight, compressing textures with their bare hands, and making every single byte COUNT. Fast forward to today and we've got 300 GB behemoths that somehow STILL launch with missing features, game-breaking bugs, and a roadmap promising "the rest of the game will arrive via DLC." Like, bestie, you had 300,000 MB and couldn't finish it? The old devs are rolling in their ergonomic office chairs. We went from "every kilobyte is precious" to "eh, just download another 80 GB patch" real quick. The doge's disappointed face says it all—we traded craftsmanship for storage space and called it progress. Iconic.

I Mean 64 Gigs Is 64 Gigs

I Mean 64 Gigs Is 64 Gigs
The moment you realize RAM prices have gotten so ridiculous that you're genuinely considering whether Mr. Whiskers is worth more as a companion or as a down payment on that 64GB upgrade. Chrome's got 47 tabs open, Docker's eating memory like it's an all-you-can-eat buffet, and your IDE is basically running a small country's worth of processes. The cat's looking at you with those big eyes, but you're looking at him calculating his resale value in DDR5 sticks. We've all been there—well, maybe not the cat-selling part, but definitely that internal debate where you're pricing out RAM upgrades versus literally anything else in your life. Priorities, right?

Very Attentive Listeners

Very Attentive Listeners
You spend three hours explaining why the feature will take two weeks to implement, complete with technical debt analysis, database migration concerns, and API limitations. The business team nods enthusiastically. Then they ask if you can have it done by Friday. The headphones aren't even plugged in. They never were. That "good point" they mentioned? They have no idea what you said. They're just waiting for their turn to say "but it's just a button" again. Pro tip: Next time, just say "no" and watch them suddenly develop the ability to hear.

What This Sub Tells Me I Need To Buy

What This Sub Tells Me I Need To Buy
The GPU arms race has officially jumped the shark. Someone took the absurdity of tech enthusiasts constantly recommending overkill hardware and ran with it—literally creating a graphics card with approximately 25+ fans and a model number that looks like someone fell asleep on the 9 key. The "ROG ASTRAL PROTOS" (because we definitely needed another ROG variant) features the legendary "ASUS 999999999999990 Ti" paired with the "RTX 100010009 Ti Super Ultra Pro Pro Max Mega Hyper"—a naming scheme that perfectly captures how NVIDIA and Apple had a baby and it inherited the worst traits from both parents. The "billion pt vram" spec is *chef's kiss*—because why stop at terabytes when you can measure your VRAM in petabytes? At this point, you could probably run Crysis, host the entire internet, and simulate the universe simultaneously. But hey, according to Reddit, anything less and you're basically coding on a potato. Can't run "Hello World" without ray tracing these days.

Can't Find Happiness In Log N

Can't Find Happiness In Log N
When you try to optimize your life with computer science algorithms but reality hits different. Binary search requires your life to be sorted first—you know, organized, stable, having your stuff together. Spoiler alert: most of us are living in O(n²) chaos. The brutal honesty here is *chef's kiss*. You can't just slap efficient algorithms onto a messy existence and expect miracles. It's like trying to use a hash map when your keys are all undefined. The monkey's deadpan delivery of "your life isn't sorted" is the kind of existential debugging message nobody wants to see but everyone needs to hear. Pro tip: Before implementing any O(log n) life improvements, make sure to run a quick isSorted() check on your existence. Otherwise you're just gonna get undefined behavior and segfaults in your happiness.

Another Day Another Outage

Another Day Another Outage
The perfect alibi. Your manager wants you to work, but GitHub is down, which means you literally cannot push code, pull requests are impossible, and your entire CI/CD pipeline is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. The boss storms in demanding productivity, and you just casually deflect with "Github down" like it's a get-out-of-jail-free card. Manager immediately backs off with "OH. CARRY ON." because even they know that without GitHub, the entire dev team is basically on paid vacation. It's the one excuse that requires zero explanation. No need to justify why you're not coding—everyone in tech knows that when GitHub goes down, the modern software development ecosystem grinds to a halt. You could be working on local branches, sure, but let's be real: nobody's doing that. We're all just refreshing the GitHub status page and browsing Reddit until the green checkmarks return.

Well Thank You For Not Sharing The Solution I Guess

Well Thank You For Not Sharing The Solution I Guess
You're three hours deep into debugging, Googling increasingly desperate variations of your error message. Finally—FINALLY—you find a Stack Overflow thread from 2014 with your EXACT problem. Same error, same context, same everything. Your heart races. This is it. Then you see it: "nvm I solved it" with zero explanation. No code. No follow-up. Just a digital middle finger from the past. And now you're sitting there celebrating like you won something, when really you've won absolutely nothing except the privilege of continuing to suffer alone. Special shoutout to those legends who edit their posts with "EDIT: Fixed it!" and still don't share how. You're the reason trust issues exist in the developer community.

We Need To Dockerize This Shit

We Need To Dockerize This Shit
The entire software development lifecycle summarized in three devastating stages: Birth (you write some code), "it works on my machine" (peak developer smugness featuring the world's most confident cat), and Death (when literally anyone else tries to run it). The smug cat radiating pure satisfaction is the PERFECT representation of every developer who's ever uttered those cursed words before their code spectacularly fails in production. Docker exists specifically because we couldn't stop being this cat, and honestly? Still worth it.

WASD Or Arrows???

WASD Or Arrows???
When someone says "swimming courses for programmers," they're not talking about learning the butterfly stroke. They mean taking your laptop into an actual swimming pool because why would you ever leave your desk? The guy's literally standing in water, coding away, treating "immersive learning" a bit too literally. Most programmers already spend 90% of their time drowning in documentation, Stack Overflow threads, and legacy code anyway—might as well make it physical. At least the pool water is cleaner than most codebases. Plus, waterproof keyboards are cheaper than therapy for burnout, so really, he's just being financially responsible here.

This Sub Lately

This Sub Lately
Oh look, we've reached the singularity where the robots have taken over... the meme subreddit. Every single post is now "I asked ChatGPT to explain recursion" or "Claude wrote my entire codebase in haiku form" and honestly? The workplace safety counter has been reset to ZERO days without an AI meme. ZERO. The programmer humor subreddit has basically become an AI screenshot repository where everyone's racing to post the most "hilarious" conversation they had with their digital overlord. We get it, you discovered that LLMs can write code and make jokes about semicolons. Revolutionary stuff, truly.

End Of Life For A Few Nvidia Models

End Of Life For A Few Nvidia Models
Nothing says "planned obsolescence" quite like Nvidia casually yeeting perfectly good GPUs into the abyss. These RTX 50-series cards barely had time to collect dust before Nvidia decided they're done supporting them. Classic tech giant move—drop support faster than you can say "driver update." For developers and ML engineers who just dropped a kidney's worth of cash on these cards, watching Nvidia toss them aside like yesterday's garbage hits different. You're still paying off the credit card, and they're already pretending your hardware doesn't exist. The Toy Story format captures that exact moment when you realize your expensive hardware investment just became a very pricey paperweight. Woody's desperate plea perfectly mirrors every dev's internal screaming when their production server's GPU suddenly becomes unsupported legacy hardware.

Easy Explanation Of Pointers

Easy Explanation Of Pointers
So you start with a regular int and everyone's cool. Then you add one asterisk to make it int* and people get a little excited but still following along. Add another asterisk for int** and now we're pointing to a pointer and things are getting spicy. But void* ? That's where your soul leaves your body. It's a pointer to... something. Could be anything. Could be nothing. The compiler has given up on type safety and so have you. It's the programming equivalent of "trust me bro" and the reason why C programmers have that thousand-yard stare. Fun fact: void* is basically how malloc tells you "here's some memory, figure it out yourself" which is both terrifying and liberating.