Soap Opera: Legacy Code Gets An AI Makeover

First dev: "I'll just hardcode every single number from 1 to infinity with its even/odd status. Efficiency!" Second dev: "Why use simple modulo math when you can just outsource your basic arithmetic to a GPT model? That's 500KB of code and a $10 API bill to determine if a number is divisible by 2." The evolution of problem-solving in 2023: from hilariously inefficient to absurdly overcomplicated. Because nothing says "modern software engineering" like turning a one-line function into an enterprise-grade AI solution with cloud dependencies. Next week: "IsPositive() function now requires stable internet connection and cryptocurrency wallet."

That desperate salesman energy when your company is trying to push yet another AI subscription on developers who just want to write code in peace. The corporate overlords really think we're all sitting here starving for AI autocomplete at $10-20/month. Sure, Copilot can be useful, but watching management present it like it's the second coming of Linus Torvalds while you're just trying to fix a bug is peak corporate comedy. Nothing says "we understand developers" quite like a suit enthusiastically pitching tools to people who've been perfectly capable of Googling Stack Overflow for decades.

The eternal struggle between productivity and procrastination has found its champion. Someone out there is genuinely concerned that if we keep letting AI write our code, debug our apps, and generate our boilerplate, we won't have enough time left in the day to ignore our actual work and play video games instead. Because nothing says "efficient workflow" like spending 6 hours optimizing your build pipeline so you can save 30 seconds, then immediately losing those gains to "just one more round" of whatever game is currently destroying your sleep schedule. The real fear isn't AI taking our jobs—it's AI making us so productive that we'll have no excuse left for why we didn't finish that side project we've been talking about for three years.

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The mysterious figure offering an "AI feature" is just a fancy wrapper for what's really going on behind the scenes: a glorified switch case. This is basically every company that slaps "AI-powered" on their product when it's just a bunch of if-else statements wearing a trench coat. The engineering equivalent of putting a top hat on a potato and calling it the CEO.