Programming Memes and Humor · ProgrammerHumor.io

No Hank No

42 minutes ago 11.1K views 0 shares

Someone just discovered you can write JavaScript bindings for UEFI firmware and honestly? That's the exact moment humanity took a wrong turn. UEFI is low-level boot firmware that initializes your hardware before the OS loads—it's written in C for a reason. It needs to be fast, reliable, and absolutely bulletproof. But sure, let's bring JavaScript's type coercion, prototype chains, and async callbacks into the bootloader. Nothing could possibly go wrong when undefined == null but undefined !== null is deciding whether your motherboard initializes properly. Your computer won't even boot, but hey, at least you can use npm packages in your firmware now. The horror on Walter White's face perfectly captures every systems programmer's reaction to this abomination. Some things are sacred, and the boot process is one of them.

The Daily Process Theater

Agile Programming

2 hours ago 32.2K views 0 shares

Someone finally said it. You know your daily standup has devolved into pure performance art when the team spends more time discussing which outdated methodology to pretend they're following than actually shipping code. "Should we do waterfall in 2026?" Sure, right after we finish migrating to COBOL. "Let's use NPC methodology!" Yeah, that tracks—most people in these meetings are just running their dialogue scripts anyway. The brutal truth hits different though. Agile was supposed to free us from endless meetings and documentation. Instead, we got sprint planning, sprint reviews, retrospectives, backlog grooming, daily standups, and quarterly PI planning sessions where we discuss how agile we are. The real product isn't software anymore—it's generating enough agile theater to justify the Jira subscription. Meanwhile, the actual code gets written in the 2 hours between meetings when everyone's status is set to "Do Not Disturb" and Slack notifications are muted.

I Knew I've Seen This Tech Before Modern GPUs

Hardware Gamedev

4 hours ago 58.0K views 0 shares

I Knew I've Seen This Tech Before Modern GPUs

So modern GPUs need a 12-pin power connector that looks suspiciously like... a car cigarette lighter? The resemblance is uncanny and honestly concerning. We've gone from "can it run Crysis?" to "can your power supply literally light cigarettes?" The fact that your graphics card now requires the same form factor as a device designed to heat metal coils is probably a sign we've taken the power consumption arms race a bit too far. Next gen GPUs will just come with a dedicated nuclear reactor and we'll all pretend it's normal. "Yeah bro, my RTX 6090 only needs 2000 watts, pretty efficient actually."

Great Use Of Electricity

AI Webdev Programming Frontend

4 hours ago 66.2K views 0 shares

The 80s rich guy had a mansion, a Ferrari, and probably a decent stock portfolio. Fast forward to 2026, and the new definition of wealth is... prompting an AI to change a button color to green. We've gone from "greed is good" to "please Claude, make it #00FF00." The real kicker? That AI prompt probably burned through enough GPU cycles to power a small village, all to accomplish what one line of CSS could've done in 0.0001 seconds. But hey, at least we're using cutting-edge technology to reinvent the wheel, one modal button at a time. The electricity bill for training these LLMs could probably buy you that Ferrari, but instead we're using it to avoid typing background-color: green;

I Want To Do That Too!

Hardware AI

4 hours ago 70.8K views 0 shares

NVIDIA walks into the RAM factory like they own the place, demanding every stick of DDR5 DRAM until 2028. The RAM producers quote them $9.5 billion. NVIDIA casually pulls out a $10 bill and asks if they can pay the rest later. The RAM producers, apparently suffering from acute business sense deficiency, agree. Meanwhile, consumers are thrown out the door faster than you can say "supply chain shortage." Because why sell to millions of gamers and PC builders when you can sell your entire production capacity to one customer who's basically paying in IOUs? The GPU shortage wasn't enough—now they're coming for your RAM too. Fun fact: NVIDIA's AI data centers are so RAM-hungry that they're literally buying up future production years in advance. Your gaming rig upgrade can wait. Jensen's got neural networks to feed.

When Are The 3 Months Gonna End

AI Programming

6 hours ago 89.4K views 0 shares

So you're out here pulling all-nighters, manually grinding through the tedious logic and soul-crushing repetitive tasks, making ChatGPT your personal code monkey while the AI doomsday prophets keep screaming that robots will steal your job in 3 months. Plot twist: you've basically become the puppet master pulling the strings, making the AI do YOUR bidding. The irony is absolutely *chef's kiss* – everyone's terrified AI will replace developers, but here you are, already replacing yourself with AI to do the boring stuff while you handle the actual thinking. Those 3 months? Yeah, they came and went, and we're all still here, just with fancier autocomplete. The real horror is realizing you're not being replaced – you're just being promoted to AI babysitter.

Average Reaction To Copilot

AI Microsoft Programming

7 hours ago 109.0K views 0 shares

Microsoft casually slides Copilot into your IDE like it's doing you a favor. Users nod politely, pretending to care. Then someone actually tries it and suddenly they're furious at this rainbow abomination that autocompletes their code with the confidence of a junior dev who just discovered Stack Overflow. The betrayal is real—you thought you wanted AI assistance until it started suggesting you refactor your entire codebase at 3 PM on a Friday.

Don't Know About Windows 12… But Windows 13 Will Have A Battle Pass

Windows Microsoft

8 hours ago 120.1K views 0 shares

Don't Know About Windows 12… But Windows 13 Will Have A Battle Pass

Oh look, it's the dystopian timeline where Microsoft finally stops pretending and just puts a literal paywall on your operating system! Windows 10, 11, 12? Sure, they're all basically the same thing with rounded corners and more telemetry. But Windows 13? That's when they go full supervillain mode with a subscription model that makes Adobe look generous. $19.99 monthly or $190 annually just to CONTINUE using your OS? At this rate, they'll probably lock the Start Menu behind a premium tier and make you watch ads to access File Explorer. The guy's face going from mildly concerned to full skeleton is honestly the perfect representation of watching your wallet slowly disintegrate every time Microsoft announces a "new feature."

Clever Not Smart

C++ Programming

9 hours ago 128.3K views 0 shares

You know that feeling when you think you're being galaxy-brained by micro-optimizing something, only to discover you've actually created a legendary footgun? That's vector<bool> in C++. Someone on the standards committee thought "Hey, let's make vector<bool> store each boolean as a single bit instead of a byte to save memory!" Sounds brilliant, right? Wrong. Because now it doesn't behave like other vectors—you can't get actual references to elements, it breaks templates, and it violates the principle of least surprise harder than finding out your "senior developer" doesn't know what a pointer is. The C++ standards committee literally admitted this was a mistake. When the people who invented the thing tell you it was a bad idea, you know someone got a little too clever for their own good. Sometimes the straightforward solution of using a whole byte per bool is the right call. Premature optimization strikes again!

The Lights Are About To Start Dimming At Teamspeak HQ

Gamedev Networking

12 hours ago 167.3K views 0 shares

The Lights Are About To Start Dimming At Teamspeak HQ

Discord just casually announced age verification and Teamspeak servers are out here sweating bullets like they just got their eviction notice. The last remaining users still clinging to their Teamspeak channels are watching Discord slowly absorb what's left of their user base like some kind of communication platform Thanos. RIP to the OG voice chat that gamers used before Discord showed up and said "what if we made this but actually good?" The crying Jordan meme says it all – Teamspeak watching their already microscopic market share about to shrink even further because Discord is making themselves more "legitimate" and parent-friendly. It's like watching Blockbuster react to Netflix all over again, except somehow even sadder.

Boss Vibe Coded Once

AI Devops Programming Cloud

13 hours ago 190.8K views 0 shares

Boss spent a weekend playing with Claude AI and now thinks the entire dev team is obsolete. The plan? Fire everyone, let customers "vibe-generate" their own features directly, and somehow this will scale better than having actual engineers. The corporate email is a masterpiece of buzzword salad: "Claude is faster than all of us combined" and customers will just tell the AI what they want. Because we all know how well requirements gathering goes when you cut out the middleman who actually understands the codebase, infrastructure, and why Karen from sales can't have a button that "makes everything purple and also exports to blockchain." The DevOps person's relief at the end is chef's kiss—they know they're safe because someone still needs to keep the infrastructure running when this brilliant AI-first strategy inevitably crashes and burns. Good luck getting Claude to debug your Kubernetes cluster at 3 AM. Sent from my iPhone, naturally.

The True Messiah

Programming Bash Linux Backend

13 hours ago 189.7K views 0 shares

So apparently we've been worshipping the wrong deity all along. While Christians organized their entire calendar around Jesus's birthday, programmers took one look at Gabriel Jarret playing teenage prodigy Mitch Taylor in the 1985 film "Real Genius" and collectively decided, "Yeah, this random actor's birthdate (January 1st, 1970) shall be the foundation of all computer time." The Unix epoch timestamp starts counting from midnight UTC on January 1, 1970—which happens to be Gabriel Jarret's actual birthdate. It's like the entire computing world accidentally created a religion around a child actor who would later play a genius in a comedy film. The irony is chef's kiss level. Every time you check a timestamp, log an event, or schedule a cron job, you're essentially measuring time from the birth of Mitch Taylor himself. Forget Y2K—we should be preparing for the Year 2038 problem when Gabriel Jarret turns 68 and our 32-bit signed integers overflow. That's when the real apocalypse happens.

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