Javascript Memes

You know what? This person just absolutely demolished the entire Electron apologist community with a single sentence. The logic is flawless and devastating. Sure, Electron "works on all platforms" because you're literally shipping an entire Chromium browser with your 2KB todo app. That's like saying a sledgehammer is the best tool for everything because it technically works on all types of nails. Yeah, it works. Your RAM just cries itself to sleep every night. The comparison is chef's kiss level savage because it highlights how "technically correct" doesn't mean "good" or even "acceptable." Just because something functions universally doesn't make it the right choice. Native apps exist for a reason, folks. But hey, at least we can write JavaScript everywhere now, right? Right?

Cross-platform development promised us sleek futuristic vehicles gliding smoothly across Linux, macOS, and Windows. Instead, we got a post-apocalyptic convoy hauling PyInstaller, DLLs, .NET runtime, Chromium (because why NOT bundle an entire browser?), Unity runtime, inpackage, and Node.js like they're essential survival supplies in Mad Max. The expectation: Write once, run anywhere! The reality: Write once, spend three weeks figuring out why it works on your machine but explodes on literally every other platform. Bonus points for the 500MB "lightweight" app that's basically Electron wearing a trench coat pretending to be native. Nothing says "cross-platform efficiency" quite like shipping half the internet just to display a button. Beautiful.

So apparently launching a text editor in 2014 triggered a decade-long domino effect that's now DEVOURING all our RAM like some kind of Chrome-powered black hole. Thanks, Electron! Who knew that wrapping every single app in an entire Chromium browser would have consequences? Remember when 8GB was considered "enthusiast tier"? Now it's barely enough to run Slack, VS Code, and maybe—MAYBE—a browser with three tabs open before your computer starts making sounds like a jet engine preparing for takeoff. The prophecy has been fulfilled: every app is now secretly a web browser in a trench coat, and your RAM is paying the price. The real tragedy? We can't even be mad because these Electron apps are genuinely useful. We're just... stuck watching our memory usage climb while muttering "it was better in the terminal days" like grumpy old devs.

Someone asks what language polyglot programmers dream in. First response: JavaScript. Second response delivers the killing blow: "He said dreams, not nightmares." JavaScript's type coercion, callback hell, and "undefined is not a function" errors have traumatized enough developers that it's apparently graduated from being a programming language to a sleep disorder. You know your language has issues when people need therapy just from reading [] + {} !== {} + [] . The brutal honesty here is chef's kiss. No elaborate roast needed—just a simple correction that cuts deeper than any stack trace.

PHP sitting there like the cockroach that survived the nuclear apocalypse while everyone keeps throwing funeral arrangements at it. For THREE DECADES people have been writing PHP's obituary, and yet here we are in 2025 celebrating its 30th birthday like it's some kind of immortal deity that feeds on developer hatred. ColdFusion? Dead. ASP.NET's glory days? Faded. NextJS being the "PHP killer"? PHP literally laughed and ate another slice of birthday cake. The cycle is HILARIOUS: new framework drops → "PHP is dead!" → PHP continues powering like 77% of the web → confused pikachu face → repeat. Meanwhile Ruby on Rails and Django got their little moment of fame in the timeline like supporting characters in PHP's never-ending sitcom. The real plot twist? That

The eternal cycle of React development: you close your eyes for a brief moment of peace, and boom—another CVE drops. It's like playing whack-a-mole with your dependencies, except the moles are security vulnerabilities and the hammer is your rapidly deteriorating mental health. React's ecosystem moves so fast that by the time you finish your morning coffee, three new vulnerabilities have been discovered, two packages you depend on are deprecated, and someone on Twitter is already dunking on your tech stack. The tinfoil hat cat perfectly captures that paranoid developer energy when you realize your "npm audit" output looks like a CVE encyclopedia. Pro tip: Just run npm audit fix --force and pray nothing breaks. What could possibly go wrong?

The virgin API consumer is basically every developer's nightmare journey: drowning in OAuth flows, rate limits hitting like a 429 status code to the face, and having to verify everything short of their grandmother's maiden name just to GET some JSON. Meanwhile, they're shackled by tokens, quotas, and the constant fear that the API provider will yank their endpoint away like a rug. Then there's the chad third-party scraper who just... doesn't care. No OAuth? No problem. Rate limits? What rate limits? They're out here parsing HTML with regex (the forbidden technique that makes computer scientists weep), paying captcha farms pennies, and scraping so fast backends are having existential crises. They've got Selenium, curl, and the audacity of someone who's never read a Terms of Service. The best part? "Website thinks his user agent is a phone" and "doesn't care about changes in policies." While legitimate developers are stuck in OAuth hell, scrapers are just spoofing headers and living their best life. The title references Zombocom, that legendary early 2000s website where "you can do anything" – which is exactly how scrapers operate in the lawless wild west of web scraping. Fun fact: Companies spend millions building anti-scraping infrastructure, yet a determined developer with curl and a rotating proxy can still extract their entire database before lunch.

Discord literally had to implement a self-destruct feature because it was eating so much RAM that it became a liability. When your app is such a memory hog that you need to add a "restart before I crash the entire system" failsafe, maybe—just maybe—wrapping a website in Chromium wasn't the best architectural decision. The fact that 4GB is the threshold tells you everything. That's more RAM than entire operating systems used to need. But hey, at least Discord is self-aware enough to restart itself. Most Electron apps just sit there, bloated and unrepentant, slowly consuming your system resources like a digital black hole until you manually kill them. Fun fact: Each Electron app bundles its own copy of Chromium. So if you're running Discord, Slack, VS Code, and Spotify simultaneously, congratulations—you're running four separate browsers just to use what could've been native apps or actual websites.

Oh, so we're just casually letting ChatGPT debug our code now? Just gonna throw our errors at the AI overlords and pray they send back working code? The sheer AUDACITY of this approach is both horrifying and... honestly kinda genius? Like, why spend hours understanding your own code when you can just ask ChatGPT "Fix for: [incomprehensible error message]" and call it a day? The future of programming is literally just vibing with AI and hoping for the best. Senior developers are SHAKING right now. Stack Overflow is in SHAMBLES. We've gone from copy-pasting solutions to automating the entire process of not knowing what we're doing. Revolutionary.

Someone who can center a div both vertically AND horizontally without Googling it is basically a mythical creature. Frontend devs have been battling this since the dawn of CSS, cycling through margin auto, flexbox, grid, absolute positioning with transforms, and probably a blood sacrifice or two. The fact that it requires clarification of both axes just adds insult to injury. Flexbox finally made this trivial, but the trauma runs deep. We all still whisper about the dark days of table layouts and vertical-align: middle that never worked.

The great divide: opening curly brace on the same line vs. new line. You'd think we'd have solved world hunger by now, but nope—we're still fighting holy wars over bracket placement. Both camps are convinced they're right, both will die on this hill, and both will passive-aggressively "fix" each other's code during reviews. The left side is the K&R/Java/JavaScript crowd, the right is the Allman style devotees. Plot twist: your linter doesn't care about your feelings and will enforce whatever the team lead decided three years ago.

You know what's wild? The frontend framework wars have gotten so tribal that people will confidently argue about which one is superior without ever touching the "inferior" one. It's like reviewing a restaurant you've never been to based on Yelp comments. React devs catching strays from Svelte enthusiasts who sleep peacefully knowing they've never had to deal with useEffect dependencies or the joy of explaining why you need three different state management libraries. Meanwhile, they're out here living their best life with reactive declarations and no virtual DOM overhead. The real kicker? Both frameworks will be replaced by something else in 2 years anyway. Sweet dreams, framework warriors.