Not A Number, But Definitely A Cake

When the recruiter hits you with that classic bait-and-switch. That moment of pure joy seeing "high paying, remote job" with "latest version of Java" only to have your soul crushed by that tiny "...script" reveal. The emotional rollercoaster from "I can finally pay off my student loans" to "I'm about to debug 10,000 lines of spaghetti code written by 12 different interns" in 0.5 seconds flat. The recruiter probably thinks they're being clever too. "Technically I didn't lie!" Yeah, and technically I'm about to technically ghost this interview.

Ah, the classic "I'll fix it later" comment that's been sitting there since 2019. The code has an if-else statement that does exactly the same thing in both branches. Someone probably spent hours debugging why their overloaded function wasn't working, then just gave up and wrote this abomination with a promise to fix it "when TypeScript understands overloading well enough." Spoiler alert: they never fixed it, and three devs have since quit rather than touch this cursed file.

Content 6:09 0 0 7 6 11 0 77 You 1 minute ago Software Engineer KQED San Francisco, CA (On-site) Qualifications Skills in Easy Apply Demonstrable knowledge of Computer Science fundamentals - data algorithms and software fundamentals like SDLC, networking Good knowledge of Agile lifecycle methodologies: Agile, Scrum etc. At least 3 years or more of experience in developing modern back-er using one or more of the following: Node.jsJavaScript, PHP and Wor Spring Boot. Strong knowledge experience with no-SQL databases such as Elas MongoDB. Sound knowledge of source code management systems such as: git, Strong knowledge of CICD environments (we use Spinnaker, in conji Docker). Familiarity with cloud native applications and cloud platforms like GC Ability to collaborate and communicate within a cross functional tear Ability to independently work on small features across codebases. Physical Demands: Ability to lift a minimum of fifteen (15) pounds; Ability to exert maximum muscle force to lift, push, pull or carry: Ability to use abdominal and lower back muscles over time without fe Ability to stand andor sit for extended periods; Ability to bend, stoop, stretch, twist, sit, and reach; Fine motor skills: Good visual and auditory acuitv. The physical demands described here represent those that an emplovee mu the essential functions of this iob successfullv.

Content The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER - Half your manager, half your senior - Designed the codebase - Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago - "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" - Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer - Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words - "Look at this" - Thinks you don't know standard documentation exists - Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn't read them - Never reviews code - First stack overflow result The Big Chiller - "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all - Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase - Tells you to ask someone else for the - Friends with the CTO simplest question - Shows you the exact line of code that - Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" - They last shipped a commit a couple - "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that - Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0

Content AliExpress you did me dirty on this one Master 773 IS Little Slut

Content 3.63 GB free of 249.77 GB Photos Audio 20.19 GB 10.43 GB Apps Movies Backups Node Modules 9.1 GB 1.84 GB 26.1 MB 204.55 GB 251 GB Flash Storage Untitled-1 Overview Displavs Storage Support Service Storage Support Macintosh HD