There Is No Update And Shut Down

Content Programmers, what's the funniest outsider's view of your job you've ever heard? Daniel Rolfe, Bachelors Finance Computer Programming, University of Technology, Sydney Answered 17h ago Many moons ago my ex wife was in the room while I was working on developing some new capability of a C application. Ihad man browser windows open with various sites displayed showing sample code, documentation, other people's approaches etc. She gasped and said, "Dan, what are you doing?". I was confused and told her I was working on some new functionality. "But aren't you cheating?" she asked, wide eyed. "Eh?" was my even more confused response. "You're looking at those websites, shouldn't you figure it out vourself?" My jaw dropped. ProarammerHumor.io

Content Windows 2000 2000 1500 1000 500 95 98 1.0 2.0 3.1 8 0 1.0 2.0 3.1 95 98 2000 7 10 10

Ah, the universal law of cross-platform development. Linux and Windows builds passing with flying green checkmarks while macOS is just sitting there with its red error badge like "I woke up and chose violence today." The ticket says "Fix macOS build #3" which implies this is the developer's third attempt at appeasing the Apple gods. At this point, they're probably considering whether learning to herd actual cats might be easier than dealing with macOS build issues.

The difference between regular running and running with admin privileges is apparently a suit, briefcase, and the unmistakable aura of someone who's about to break production. Normal running is just exercise, but "Run as Administrator" means you're sprinting to fix the server that crashed because someone pushed directly to main. The wind in your hair isn't from speed—it's from the collective sighs of your entire dev team watching you race to implement a hotfix with godlike permissions.

Ah, the beautiful irony of modern gaming! Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 with its hyper-realistic medieval graphics only needs a modest GTX 1060 to run. Meanwhile, Borderlands 4 with its cartoony cell-shaded style demands an RTX 2070 minimum. It's like needing a supercomputer to run MS Paint while Photoshop runs on a calculator. Game engine optimization is clearly an arcane art that defies logic. The real medieval warfare isn't in the game—it's in your wallet fighting to afford unnecessary GPU upgrades for stylized graphics. Somewhere, a graphics programmer is cackling maniacally while writing the most inefficient shader code possible for those cartoon outlines.

Ah, the digital equivalent of homeopathy! This meme brilliantly parodies the misguided logic of "what doesn't kill your PC makes it stronger." The top panel shows a disinterested Pooh bear representing the boring, responsible approach of using antivirus software as intended. Meanwhile, fancy tuxedo Pooh in the bottom panel represents the galaxy-brain move of deliberately downloading viruses to "train" your computer's immune system—as if your Dell XPS is going to start developing antibodies after surviving a trojan. It's basically CrossFit for your CPU, except instead of gaining muscle, you're just losing all your banking credentials.