The Only Virus I Ever Had Was The One I Paid For

Ah yes, the classic tech industry scam: convincing people that their computer needs a $99/year bodyguard when Windows Defender has been sitting there like a perfectly capable bouncer since 2009. McAfee and Norton are basically the digital equivalent of those mall kiosk guys trying to sell you overpriced phone cases—except they slow down your entire system while doing it. The real kicker? These "antivirus" programs hog more resources than actual malware, spam you with notifications, and are harder to uninstall than a Stage 5 Clinger. Meanwhile, Windows Defender quietly does its job without turning your PC into a slideshow. Common sense is still the best antivirus though: don't click on "FREE_IPHONE_WINNER.exe" and you're already ahead of 90% of users.