Buckshot Roulette: Python Edition

Content Carla Notarobot CarlaNotarobot Astronauts use Linux because you can't open Windows in space 8:57 AM Jan 26, 2021 Twitter Web App 1.9K Retweets 242 Ouote Tweets 10.8K Likes 17

Oh. My. GOD! Visual Studio is SHAKING right now! 💅 Why spend 20 minutes installing a 10GB IDE when Notepad has been sitting there the ENTIRE TIME with its sassy little text editing capabilities?! The AUDACITY of Visual Studio to be so high maintenance when Notepad is just *chef's kiss* perfection! Your computer isn't having an existential crisis trying to run it, it came free with your Windows (what a bargain queen!), and it opens files faster than you can say "my project is due in 5 minutes." Sure, Visual Studio has intellisense and debugging, but does it have the DRAMA of coding without a safety net? I think NOT! Notepad users are the true chaos demons of programming - no syntax highlighting, no auto-complete, just PURE CODING ADRENALINE!

Dell's uninstaller is treating you like you've never encountered the concept of deletion before. "Click Remove to remove" followed by "this program will no longer be available for use" is the software equivalent of explaining that water is wet. The dramatic movie scene below perfectly captures the existential crisis one experiences when faced with such profound wisdom. It's like Dell thinks we might believe uninstalling their software merely sends it on vacation to the Bahamas rather than, you know, actually removing it from existence. Next they'll add a warning that says "Breathing is recommended for continued survival."

Content Hi, l'm your new sex robot. My software runs on an unlicensed Windows XP. Say something dirty. Daniel Stori (turnoff.us XXX

You know that moment when you think "maybe Windows isn't so bad anymore" and boot it up for the first time in months? Yeah, that delusion lasts exactly as long as it takes for Windows Update to hijack your machine, Cortana to ask if she can help, and Edge to beg you to make it your default browser for the 47th time. Linux users are like that friend who tried going vegan, lasted three days, and came back with even stronger convictions. Except instead of kale, it's the terminal. The grass isn't greener on the Windows side—it's just Clippy's ghost haunting you while your system restarts for the third time to install updates you never asked for. Ten minutes is generous, honestly. Most of us are back to `sudo apt update` before the Start menu even loads.

That massive red slice is basically a monument to the phrase "I know a guy." The pie chart brutally exposes how most people skip qualified technicians and instead summon their self-proclaimed tech wizard friend who once installed Chrome successfully and now considers themselves the next Linus Torvalds. The result? A simple driver issue transforms into a complete OS reinstall with bonus malware. The tiny green slice represents the mythical creatures who actually contact manufacturers first—like spotting a unicorn in the wild.