When You Only Know HTML

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of Node.js! Your tiny 300kb app that probably just displays "Hello World" is forced to drag around a 12GB monstrosity of node_modules like some sort of digital pack mule! 💀 It's the modern developer's nightmare - creating something sleek and elegant only to have it CRUSHED under the weight of seventeen thousand dependencies you didn't even know you needed! Your poor little app is literally GASPING for air under all those packages that do things you could probably write yourself in 10 lines of code!

The AUDACITY of web developers just slapping !DOCTYPE html at the top of every file like some magical incantation! 💅 Honey, we're all just copying and pasting that declaration like it's a secret recipe ingredient. Does anyone ACTUALLY know what it does? It's basically the web development equivalent of adding salt to your soup - you're not sure how much you need, but you know everything breaks without it! The browser's like "tell me what language you're speaking or I'll have a TOTAL meltdown," and we're like "fine, take your DOCTYPE, you dramatic little rendering engine!" 🙄

The real exception handling workflow no instructor will teach you! Instead of actually handling errors properly, this genius just copies the error message, builds a StackOverflow URL with it, and automatically opens a browser tab. It's basically outsourcing your problem-solving to random internet strangers who'll either solve your issue or mock your coding skills into oblivion. The modern developer's prayer: "Dear StackOverflow gods, please let someone have encountered this obscure error before me."

That moment when you change a single line of CSS and suddenly your website looks like it was designed by a toddler with a crayon. "Just gonna adjust this padding by 2px" and boom—your layout transforms into a surprised Pikachu. The beauty of CSS: where "cascading" actually means "catastrophically scrambling stuff." And the best part? You have absolutely no idea which of the 47 overlapping style rules is causing it. Perfection.

Oh. My. God. The DIABOLICAL GENIUS of tech execs playing 4D chess with our careers! 😱 First, they're all "AI will TOTALLY replace you programmers!" Then suddenly everyone's terrified of learning to code. Supply plummets. Demand stays the same. And BOOM – programmer salaries SKYROCKET to astronomical levels! It's the most beautiful, twisted supply-and-demand manipulation I've ever witnessed. And we're all just pawns in their evil little game! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*

Nothing says "we have no idea how our payment system works" quite like threatening users with financial ruin for using basic browser functions. The developer who built this clearly had a nervous breakdown after discovering their stateless web app couldn't handle the concept of a browser history. Instead of fixing the actual problem, they just slapped a scary red warning and called it a day. Classic case of "it's not a bug, it's a feature that requires user documentation in ALL CAPS and panic-inducing red text."