When You Only Know HTML

Rejecting Webpack's complex configuration hell only to embrace Stack Overflow's copy-paste paradise. Why spend hours configuring module bundlers when you can just "borrow" code from the internet's largest debugging support group? The real 10x developer move is knowing exactly which answers to steal without reading the documentation.

When your "fullstack" resume consists of a weather app that fetches data from an API and displays it without any styling. The bare minimum functionality with localhost:8000 proudly displayed in the URL bar is the digital equivalent of saying "I know karate" after watching one YouTube tutorial. The classic "it works on my machine" energy radiates from this masterpiece of technical minimalism.

When you ask a junior dev to implement OAuth and they take "social login" to a whole new dimension. Normal OAuth providers? Boring! Let's authenticate with a potato, your mom, and Beef Caldereta instead! Nothing says "secure authentication flow" like logging in with a PDF or your physical address. The cherry on top is "Login with Caution" - the only button that's actually giving sound security advice here.

Every decade brings a new "revolutionary" way to make developers obsolete, yet here we are, still debugging at 3 AM. Visual Programming in the '90s promised drag-and-drop salvation, MDA in the 2000s swore models would auto-generate everything, No-Code platforms in the 2010s claimed anyone could build apps without writing a line. Now we've got "Vibe-Code" where you just describe what you want and AI does the heavy lifting. Spoiler alert: someone still needs to fix it when the AI hallucinates a database schema or generates a sorting algorithm that runs in O(n!). The pattern is clear—each generation thinks they've cracked the code to eliminate coding itself. Meanwhile, programmers keep getting paid to clean up the mess these "solutions" create. Job security through eternal optimism, baby.

Jim Cramer just blessed us with his wisdom about software dying and hardware rising. For those who don't know, Jim Cramer is basically the inverse oracle of investing - whatever he predicts, bet on the exact opposite happening. His track record is so consistently wrong that he's become a contrarian indicator. So when he says software is collapsing and hardware is ascending, every developer just breathed a collective sigh of relief. Our jobs are safe, the cloud isn't going anywhere, and SaaS companies can keep printing money. Thanks Jim, you beautiful reverse prophet. The man could predict rain in a desert and somehow the Sahara would get drier. Software engineers everywhere are now updating their LinkedIn with "Jim Cramer said software is dead" as job security insurance.

The worst security advice ever wrapped in a cute anime package! Hardcoding your API keys directly in your frontend JavaScript is like leaving your house keys under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to it. Any curious user can just pop open DevTools, check the Network tab or source code, and boom—free access to your services! That $20,000 AWS bill because someone found your S3 credentials and decided to mine crypto? That's just the universe teaching you about environment variables and backend authentication the hard way.