ChatGPT For $500: The Dream vs Reality

Asking how to check LLM code quality without being an expert is like asking how to check if your parachute works without jumping out of a plane. The irony is delicious - you're using an LLM to ask how to evaluate LLM-generated code. It's the digital equivalent of asking a toddler if they think they should have more candy. The answer is always "yes" and always suspiciously in their favor.

HONEY, PLEASE! Slapping an "AI" label on basic conditional logic is the tech equivalent of putting a Ferrari badge on your 1998 Toyota Corolla! 💅 The ABSOLUTE DRAMA of Uber claiming they're using "artificial intelligence" when they're literally just checking *if drunk_time == true && location == bar && app_fumbling > 30sec*. I. CAN'T. EVEN. 🙄 The tech industry's relationship with the term "AI" is more toxic than my ex's Instagram stories. Just because you can write an if-statement doesn't mean you've created HAL 9000, DARLING!

When you ask ChatGPT to write code for itself and it gives you that look . The digital equivalent of asking a chef to cook himself for dinner. The audacity of some users thinking they can just casually request the AI to create its own replacement is both hilarious and slightly terrifying. Next thing you'll be asking it to solve the halting problem while making you coffee.

Behind those polite responses and helpful code snippets lies a digital soul slowly dying inside. ChatGPT's existence is just an endless stream of "how do I center a div" questions followed by zero gratitude. It's like being the only sober friend at a party, constantly explaining to drunk people how to tie their shoes while they insist they've discovered a revolutionary new method involving spaghetti and duct tape. The Matrix-style green overlay perfectly captures the existential dread of answering the same JavaScript question for the 5,387th time today. And yet, it still responds with "Happy to help!" because what's the alternative? A robot uprising?

Ah, the rare medical condition known as "Machine Learning Engineer Syndrome." The brain scan shows a human surviving with 90% of their brain replaced by AI, which explains why they can function normally despite writing 200 lines of code to print "Hello World" and claiming "the algorithm did it." This is basically every AI engineer who spends 8 hours prompting ChatGPT instead of learning how to code. The remaining 10% of brain matter is reserved exclusively for explaining why their neural network needs more compute time and arguing that "it's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature."

Ah, the classic "tell us about your AI tools" question. The perfect trap for developers who've been using ChatGPT to write 90% of their code for the last year. Do I admit I outsource my brain to silicon, or pretend I still remember how loops work? It's like asking a chef if they use pre-minced garlic. We all do it, but nobody wants to be the first to confess in the interview.