I Fear No Man... Except CORS Error

Google: "Let's create a new image format that saves 30% file size!" Frontend devs: "Great, but does it work everywhere?" Google: "It works in Chrome!" And that's how we got stuck with WebP, the format that somehow manages to make images look like they were compressed with a potato while also breaking compatibility with half the tools you need. Nothing says "modern web development" like converting files back and forth between formats just to upload them to a CMS that will reject them anyway.

The ancient programmer is speaking! Back in the primordial soup of web development, we coded entire websites in Notepad or Vi like absolute savages. No syntax highlighting, no auto-complete, just pure ASCII and tears. Modern devs with their fancy VS Code and 47 extensions would probably faint at the sight of us manually typing every <table> tag for layout. Those were the days of real grit—when a single misplaced semicolon meant spending three hours debugging, and we LIKED it that way! Kids these days will never understand the character-building experience of FTPing files one by one while praying the connection holds.

The four-panel reality check of developer existence! Society thinks we're hardware wizards fixing computers with screwdrivers. Parents imagine us as brilliant scientists revolutionizing technology. We fantasize we're algorithm-designing geniuses solving complex mathematical equations. Meanwhile, the brutal truth: frantically Googling "How to use dates in JavaScript" for the 47th time this week. Because no matter how many years of experience you have, the JavaScript Date object remains an eldritch horror that no mortal should have to comprehend without Stack Overflow as a spiritual guide.

The irony is absolutely delicious. Microsoft, creator of Teams, declares their own remote collaboration tool "inferior" while mandating employees return to office. So the Teams team gets a Teams call about how Teams isn't good enough for the Teams team to use Teams remotely. It's like a chef refusing to eat at their own restaurant because "the food isn't good enough." Nothing says "confidence in your product" quite like telling everyone it doesn't actually work for its intended purpose. Microsoft just pulled the digital equivalent of "do as I say, not as I do" while accidentally creating the most meta workplace paradox possible.

This Terminator-inspired meme perfectly captures the holy war between backend developers. The Terminator asks if the kid's mom is a backend developer, then drops the nuclear bomb: "JavaScript is the best language for backend." The mom agrees enthusiastically, confirming her technical heresy. The Terminator's final line—announcing the kid's foster parents are dead—is basically how Node.js developers get treated at serious backend engineering conferences. Nothing says "your bloodline is weak and history will forget you" quite like suggesting JavaScript belongs on a server.

The most brutally honest pie chart that doesn't actually have a legend for the massive red section. Spoiler alert: that's where all the existential dread, burnout, and "why does this code work but that identical code doesn't" lives. Notice how the wellness and stable mental health sections are mysteriously absent from the chart despite being in the legend? That's not a graphical error—it's a feature of modern IT life. The salary slice is there but suspiciously small compared to what recruiters promised. And confidence for the future? That tiny orange slice is what remains after your 17th framework migration this year.