I Fear No Man... Except CORS Error

Nothing says "we value your time" quite like turning a job application into a full-time unpaid internship. The modern tech interview process has evolved from "Can you code?" to "Can you solve this obscure algorithm while tap-dancing and reciting the company values backwards?" The tears reflected in those glasses aren't from sadness—they're from realizing you just spent 40 hours on interview prep only to get ghosted with the classic "unfortu-" cut-off. Next time just ask if I can center a div and call it a day.

The classic "study properly" vs "wing it" dilemma! Taking notes is for those who still believe documentation matters. Meanwhile, the rest of us just slam code together and pray to the compiler gods that we'll somehow remember which obscure function fixed that weird edge case three months ago. It's the programming equivalent of saying "I'll definitely remember where I parked" and then wandering around the parking lot for 20 minutes. The confidence is admirable though—nothing says "senior developer" like the unshakable belief that your memory is better than it actually is.

The eternal cycle of developer hubris! First panel: "I'm gonna build this from scratch because libraries are for WEAKLINGS." Second panel: "Let me just quickly Google how to actually do this..." Third panel: *silent realization that this is way harder than expected* Fourth panel: *frantically copy-pasting Stack Overflow answers while questioning life choices* Nothing humbles you faster than attempting to reinvent the wheel only to discover the wheel requires calculus, physics, and three programming languages you don't know. And yet we keep doing it. Why? Because we're developers and pain is our love language.

When your coworker shares their 4K monitor screen and you suddenly realize they've been coding in font size 8 this whole time. Your retinas burn as you squint at microscopic variable names while they casually navigate their IDE like it's completely normal. Meanwhile, you're over here with font size 16 and still reaching for reading glasses during code reviews.

The frantic blur of fingers desperately pounding a keyboard as the 2FA timer counts down is a universal panic attack. Nothing quite matches that primal fear when you open your authenticator app and see "5 seconds remaining" while trying to log into something important. Suddenly you're a contestant on a typing game show where the prize is... just accessing your own account. And heaven forbid you mistype a digit! Then you're stuck in authentication purgatory for another 30 seconds, questioning your life choices and wondering if maybe carrier pigeons were more reliable after all.

Remember when we had specific terminology for different software components? Now marketing departments have decided everything is just an "app." Your compiler? App. Your operating system? App. That daemon running critical background processes? You guessed it—app. Next time someone asks what I do for a living, I'm just going to say "I make apps" and save us all 20 minutes of technical explanation that would've been ignored anyway.