I Fear No Man... Except CORS Error

This Magic: The Gathering card parody perfectly skewers the JavaScript elitism paradox. JS devs looking down on C++ programmers from their "ivory towers" while conveniently ignoring that V8, SpiderMonkey, and every other JS engine is built with the very C++ they mock. It's like criticizing plumbers while living in a house with running water. The pseudo-Shakespearean quote at the bottom is the chef's kiss - a pretentious garnish on an already delicious serving of irony. The mana cost of "1" is perfect too - minimal effort required to maintain this level of cognitive dissonance!

BEHOLD! The eternal lie every developer tells themselves when skipping proper documentation! "Don't worry, it's super intuitive, the user will know how to use it" they proclaim with unfounded confidence, while the poor user (represented by that absolutely CONFUSED dog) tries to figure out how to enter a doghouse THROUGH THE ROOF instead of the gaping entrance! This is the EXACT SAME ENERGY as releasing software with zero tutorials and then wondering why users are filing 47,000 support tickets! The audacity! The delusion! The sheer hubris of thinking your UI is "intuitive" when users can't even find the login button! I'm having flashbacks to every product meeting where someone said "it's self-explanatory" and I nearly threw my laptop out the window!

The four horsemen of programming reality: what people think (hardware surgery), what parents think (rocket science), what you think (complex algorithms), and what you actually do (Googling "How to use dates in Javascript" for the 47th time this week). Nothing says "senior developer with 10 years experience" quite like having absolutely no idea how to handle dates without checking Stack Overflow first. It's not impostor syndrome if we're all impostors.

The evolution of developer excuses is a beautiful thing to witness. In 2000, power outages were the go-to alibi. By 2012, we blamed flaky internet connections. But 2024? We've reached peak dependency – "Sorry boss, ChatGPT is down so my coding abilities have mysteriously vanished." Let's be honest, how many of us have secretly copy-pasted AI-generated code directly into production? The uncomfortable truth is that modern development sometimes feels like being a professional prompt engineer with Stack Overflow as backup. And the title? "Nah We Have Google Bard" just confirms we always have a backup AI to blame our productivity on!

When JavaScript makes you want to set your computer on fire, just remember Java devs are stuck writing 15 lines of code to print "Hello World" in some corporate basement. Suddenly your undefined is not null errors don't seem so bad. Nothing calms the JavaScript rage like realizing you could be writing enterprise Java instead. Perspective is a beautiful thing.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this person claiming they "use C++ in JavaScript" only to reveal they're just using the increment operator (c++) in a basic for loop! 💀 This is like saying you're fluent in Italian because you can order a pizza! The absolute BETRAYAL when they show their "C++" code and it's just a pathetic little counter printing numbers with line breaks. And everyone's losing their minds laughing because it's the programming equivalent of saying you're a chef because you can make toast. THE DRAMA! THE DECEPTION!