I Fear No Man... Except CORS Error

The classic "monkey puppet" meme perfectly captures the thousand-yard stare of veteran programmers when someone claims "you don't need to be a programmer to write software." That statement might sound innocent to the uninitiated, but anyone who survived Visual Basic, FrontPage, and Dreamweaver in the 90s knows the horror that follows. Sure, drag-and-drop interfaces made software "accessible" – right until you had to debug the absolute nightmare of auto-generated code that looked like it was written by a caffeinated toddler with a keyboard. The right panel showing ancient UI builder software is giving me flashbacks I didn't consent to.

IMAGINE THE UTOPIA WE WERE ROBBED OF! 😭 JavaScript, the language that powers 99% of the web, was infamously created by Brendan Eich in just 10 DAYS back in 1995. TEN. DAYS. The result? A language with more quirks than a cat café on catnip! One more day could have fixed the nightmare that is type coercion, the existential crisis of null vs undefined , and that absolute TRAVESTY where [] + [] equals an empty string but [] + {} is "[object Object]"! The audacity! Now we're all stuck patching this cosmic joke with TypeScript like putting designer bandaids on a coding catastrophe. Just ONE more day, Brendan! We could've had flying cars instead of framework fatigue!

The BETRAYAL is REAL! You're there, frantically hammering CTRL+C to copy that precious code snippet, and what happens? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Meanwhile, CTRL+V pastes whatever random garbage you copied three hours ago instead of your beautiful, life-saving solution. The clipboard—that digital backstabber—is the reason I have trust issues and stress-eat cookies at 3 AM while debugging. It's like the clipboard is DELIBERATELY waiting for that crucial moment in a demo to completely ghost you!

The stereotype has officially achieved boss-level status. After 15 years in the industry, I've watched countless devs disappear into the coding void only to emerge with new GitHub profiles and anime avatars. The pipeline from "I'll just fix this one bug" to "3AM coding sessions fueled by energy drinks while questioning existence" is basically industry standard at this point. Your IDE becomes your personality and your commit history your social life. The real secret gender is clearly "programmer with 27 unfinished side projects."

When your dev environment gets compromised, you improvise with what you've got! This engineer turned their smart fridge into a workstation after their actual devices were stolen. The keyboard and trackpad setup in front of the refrigerator's touchscreen is peak desperation architecture. It's the ultimate edge computing - literally computing at the edge of your kitchen. The cold hard truth is that developers will find a way to code on literally anything with a processor and screen. Bet their code is extra fresh today!

Developers trying to share Stack Overflow solutions be like: HTTP 301 - PERMANENTLY REDIRECTED to some random X post with 47 popup ads and a paywall. Remember when Twitter links actually worked? Now our code reviews look like archaeological digs through API deprecation notices just to find that one regex snippet someone shared in 2019. The ultimate 404 of productivity.