If Only Brendan Eich Had One More Day

Content Java JavaScript

Ah, the classic CSS battle against invisible elements. Setting z-index to 99999 is basically the frontend equivalent of yelling "COME OUT, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" at your monitor. Meanwhile, your div is probably hiding behind another element with position: relative that you forgot about three hours ago. The true villain isn't the z-index—it's the CSS stacking context that silently judges your desperate attempts at bringing elements forward. After eight years of frontend development, I've learned that no matter how big your z-index number is, there's always some parent container laughing at your pathetic attempts to control the layout.

Content I was the pinnacle of human engineering. I calculated the orbital trajectory to the Moon and delivered the astronauts back with pin-point precision. JSON too big. ProarammerHumor.io

Content How did you fix that Bug? SENIOR DEV Commented the code. INTERN

Listen, there are certain sacred traditions in coding that you just don't question. Using i and j as loop variables isn't a choice—it's practically written in the ancient scrolls of computer science. Passed down from the FORTRAN elders to every generation since. Try using pancake and waffle as your nested loop variables during a code review and watch your senior dev have an existential crisis. The programming gods will smite you with merge conflicts for the rest of eternity. Sure, we could use more descriptive variable names, but that would be... reasonable? And we can't have that. IT'S THE LAW!

Content Gedda gedda Recruiter: So what is your expertise, frontend or backend? Dev: I consider myself a full-stack developer. Recruiter: Ok writes good at neither 08:08 2021-10-22 Twitter for iPhone