I Am Hoarding Domains

Ah, the classic "I know a programmer" tax in action! Nothing says friendship like asking for a free app at 8 AM and expecting you to both design AND build it. The smooth "That's where you come in!" is basically code for "I have absolutely no idea how this works but I'm sure you can whip it up by lunchtime." This is the digital equivalent of asking a doctor friend to check out your weird rash at a dinner party. Bonus points for the early morning ambush when your defenses are down and you haven't had enough coffee to calculate the 300+ hours of unpaid labor they're casually requesting.

Behold the eternal keyboard shortcut debate! Top panel: Rejecting the efficient Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V combo like it's some amateur hour nonsense. Bottom panel: Gleefully embracing the absolutely ridiculous Ctrl+C+C+C+C+C/Ctrl+V approach because... who doesn't love hammering that C key 5 times just to be extra sure you've copied something? It's like buying five backup drives for a 2KB text file. The paranoia is real—and frankly, relatable. That text isn't truly copied until you've mashed C enough times to risk carpal tunnel.

The modern "full stack" - three AI tabs open in your browser while you pretend to know what you're doing. Remember when being full stack meant actually knowing multiple languages and frameworks? Now it's just knowing which AI to ask for which problem. "Yes, I'm proficient in Claude, ChatGPT, and Perplexity" should be the new line on resumes. The only stack that matters is the stack of browser tabs helping you fake your way through that ticket your PM swore was "just a small change."

When your recruiter says you need 7 years of experience in a technology that's only existed for 1 year. Time dilation on this planet is the only way to meet job requirements these days. Job listings be like: "Entry level position - must have mastered three programming languages that haven't been invented yet and sacrificed your firstborn to the GitHub gods." The real interstellar mission isn't exploring new worlds—it's finding a way to accumulate enough experience to qualify for that "junior" position.

THE AUDACITY! Companies slapping ".ai" on their products while secretly running on the world's most reliable resource: underpaid offshore developers! The meme SAVAGELY calls out Amazon Go and Builder.ai with that devastatingly precise punchline - "If I had a nickel for every 'AI' product that was actually just underpaid Indians, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice." I'm SCREAMING! It's the tech industry's worst-kept secret wrapped in a Phineas and Ferb reference! The AI washing is so transparent you could use it as a window cleaner! 💀

The brutal honesty of career choices summed up in one confession. Started coding because it seemed cool, stayed because I'm too deep in the tech debt to escape now. That moment when you realize your GitHub commits are basically digital breadcrumbs leading to your slow descent into Stack Overflow dependency. Seven years and four frameworks later, still googling basic syntax and pretending it's normal. The only difference between junior and senior devs? Seniors know which errors to ignore.