I Am Hoarding Domains

Ah yes, the annual ritual of updating the copyright year—the one task that makes you feel like you've actually accomplished something in January. Four whole keystrokes of productivity! Sure, you haven't fixed that memory leak or refactored that spaghetti code, but dammit, the footer is legally compliant now. Some devs even automate it with new Date().getFullYear() but that would rob them of this profound sense of achievement. Nothing says "I'm contributing to the codebase" quite like changing a single digit while ignoring the 147 open tickets in Jira.

Nested cardboard boxes representing the endless <div> hell that is modern web development. Just wanted to center a button, ended up with 17 layers of containers, each with their own margin, padding, and existential purpose. The DOM inspector probably looks like a Russian nesting doll family reunion. And they say HTML isn't "real programming."

The handshake between Mr. Krabs and Patrick Star perfectly symbolizes the unspoken alliance of suffering that programmers and artists share. While we're busy arguing about tabs vs. spaces or RGB vs. CMYK, some CEO is slapping their name on our 2AM caffeine-fueled creation. Nothing quite builds solidarity like watching your Git commits or Photoshop layers get repackaged as "executive vision." The real kicker? The stolen code probably runs better than when I wrote it, but that's beside the point.

Top panel: Developer smugly thinking they're writing masterful code. Bottom panel: Reality check - they're just watching a loading spinner while ChatGPT does all the work. It's the modern equivalent of putting your feet up while the intern does your job. Except now the intern is an AI that doesn't complain about coffee runs or need college credit.

The eighth circle of hell isn't fire and brimstone—it's debugging someone else's PHP code without documentation. Forcing trespassers to untangle nested if-statements and figure out why everything is both a string and not a string simultaneously is just cruel. Geneva convention violation right there. The perfect punishment for those who ignore boundaries, both physical and programmatic.

Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect search engine—a journey more convoluted than trying to explain to your mom why her computer is slow. This flowchart perfectly captures the existential crisis of modern developers. On one path, you've got the vector search hipsters who think they're too cool for regular search (spoiler: they are). Then there's the keyword search folks desperately seeking fault-tolerance like it's the last slice of pizza at a dev meetup. My personal favorite is the "petabytes of logs" branch. Do you really need so many logs? Well... YES . Because nothing says "I'm a serious engineer" like hoarding data you'll never actually look at. And then there's the person who just wants Google without the AI hallucinations. Sorry buddy, wrong flowchart—but I feel your pain. We all miss the days when search results weren't trying to predict your existential crises. The real genius here is how accurately it portrays our decision-making process: a chaotic mess of technical requirements, personal preferences, and completely arbitrary choices that somehow ends with us picking whatever was mentioned in that conference talk we half-listened to last month.