I Am Hoarding Domains

The eternal workplace dichotomy exposed! Designers panic when new talent arrives—"Am I not enough?" they sob, fearing their pixel-perfect creations will be outshined. Meanwhile, engineers channel their inner Caesar from Planet of the Apes with "Apes together strong," embracing the reinforcements like it's another node in their distributed system. Why? Because designers fight for creative ownership while engineers know that more hands means someone else can debug that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch. The git commit history doesn't care who wrote it, just that it works!

Google: "Let's create a new image format that saves 30% file size!" Frontend devs: "Great, but does it work everywhere?" Google: "It works in Chrome!" And that's how we got stuck with WebP, the format that somehow manages to make images look like they were compressed with a potato while also breaking compatibility with half the tools you need. Nothing says "modern web development" like converting files back and forth between formats just to upload them to a CMS that will reject them anyway.

The classic web dev initiation ritual. You claim to know CSS but can't recite all 74 HTTP status codes from memory? *cocks gun* Shame. Next you'll tell me you don't know the exact hex code for "slightly off-white but not quite eggshell." The gatekeeping in this industry is getting more efficient - skip the whiteboard interview, just threaten them with fictional cartoon violence.

Frontend devs showing off their new project like: "Check out this sick bowl reveal!" *adds another div wrapper* Now it's a completely different bowl! Revolutionary UI/UX right there. Nothing says "I know what I'm doing" like nesting divs 17 layers deep until your DOM looks like a Russian doll family reunion. The browser's just silently weeping in the corner.

Oh. My. GOD. The DRAMA of JavaScript's this keyword is the ultimate betrayal! You're sitting there, coding away, when suddenly your program implodes and you scream "F*** THIS!" in righteous fury—only to realize the tragic irony that you literally have NO IDEA what "this" even is in your code! 😱 It's like screaming at a ghost you can't see! For the JavaScript-curious, this is that slippery little devil that changes meaning depending on context—sometimes it's the window, sometimes it's an object, sometimes it's whatever random thing bound to it. And don't even get me started on arrow functions changing all the rules! The AUDACITY!

The ultimate browser friend zone! Someone created a fake Microsoft Edge account with the most devastating rejection in browser history: "i OnLy UsE yOu To DoWnLoAd ChRoMe." The alternating caps perfectly capture the mocking tone, like Edge is the browser equivalent of that friend who only calls when they need something. With 402K likes and 23.4M views, this digital burn has clearly resonated with the masses who've performed this exact ritual on fresh Windows installs since time immemorial. It's the circle of browser life - Edge briefly exists to facilitate its own replacement.