Google A Din 1999

Ah, Google circa 1999 - the innocent childhood photo before puberty hit and turned it into a data-hoarding monster with commitment issues. Look at that adorable promise: "a pure search engine — no weather, no news feed, no links to sponsors, no ads, no distractions." That aged about as well as my promise to only have one cookie from the jar. Now Google tracks you more closely than your ex on social media and has more ads than a Times Square billboard. The digital equivalent of "I'll just have one drink tonight" followed by waking up with a sponsored hangover.