Folding Phones: The Web Developer's New Nightmare

Ah yes, freeCodeCamp - the platform that taught us all JavaScript, Python, and... *checks notes*... General Chemistry? Looks like after teaching every programming language known to mankind, they've finally hit rock bottom of their content backlog. Next week: "Advanced Basket Weaving - The Full Stack Developer's Guide to Natural Fibers." The commit history on that repo must be fascinating.

That reluctant face when you've tried StackOverflow, GitHub issues, and official docs, but the only solution is a 10-minute tutorial by that one YouTuber with the annoying intro music and "smash that like button" every 30 seconds. You're sitting there with your finger hovering over the play button, mentally preparing for the inevitable "Hey guys, what's up, it's ya boy..." while your deadline creeps closer. The universe really tests your desperation when the only person who's solved your obscure framework bug is the same guy who spends 5 minutes promoting his crypto course before getting to the actual code.

The eternal side project dilemma: two buttons labeled "spend days debugging broken code" or "trash it all and restart from scratch." And there you are, sweating profusely, halfway through the project, calculating if those 47 Stack Overflow solutions you've duct-taped together are worth salvaging. The real genius of side projects isn't finishing them—it's the impressive collection of half-completed Git repositories you'll accumulate. Your GitHub is basically a digital graveyard of "I'll get back to this someday" promises.

THE AUDACITY! Just when you're about to push that LIFE-CHANGING commit to save humanity, GitHub's rainbow unicorn of doom appears! 🦄 There you are, frantically refreshing like it'll magically fix itself, as if the unicorn will gallop away if you click hard enough. And that "contact us if the problem persists" suggestion? PLEASE! As if we're not going to try refreshing 47 more times before even CONSIDERING that option! The unicorn might as well be saying "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" while sipping tea and judging your life choices. Meanwhile, your deadline approaches and your will to live decreases with every rainbow-colored second!

The diagram shows proper sitting posture vs. a programmer's reality: a cat sprawled out in complete disregard of ergonomics. Who needs correct posture when you can code in whatever twisted pretzel shape your body naturally assumes after 12 straight hours of debugging? Our spines evolve to match our coding style - chaotic, improvised, and somehow still functional. Standing desks were invented by people who never experienced the bliss of coding while half-melted into furniture. The human body is just legacy hardware anyway - we'll all be uploading our consciousness to the cloud before our back problems catch up with us.

Initially, our character shows compassion for a tiny spider, wanting to save it because "all life is precious." But when the spider reveals it teaches JavaScript as a first language to beginners, our hero's expression transforms into pure horror. Teaching JavaScript first is like giving a teenager a Formula 1 car before they've mastered a bicycle. Sure, they might eventually figure it out, but the journey will involve countless crashes, inexplicable behaviors, and deeply questionable design decisions. undefined is not null is not NaN is not... you get it.