Years Of JavaScript: The Ultimate Punishment

Content Actual modern web dev: React - Postgres import sql from "evercelpostgres' const likes 100; export default async function HomeFeed() const IOWS await sql'SELECT id, name FROM posts WHERE likes (likes) LIMIT 5; return ( div (rows.map ((post) ( a href( postpost.id) ') key-(post. id) h2 post. name h2 a div 1 Drew Wilson drewwilson Jun 7 Modern web dev: Nextjs React Apollo GQL GRPC Postgres edit 20 code files, spend untold hours wrangling them together. Result: ... Show more

Someone asks Flutter devs to explain their framework choice in 3 words. The top answer? "Not fucking JavaScript." But wait—they meant Java Script , not Java. Classic case of hating something so much you accidentally insult its distant cousin at the family reunion. Flutter uses Dart, which lets you avoid the npm dependency hell and the "works on my machine" lottery that comes with modern web frameworks. No bundlers, no transpilers, no questioning your life choices at 2 PM on a Tuesday. Just pure, compiled-to-native performance. The relief is palpable. The real joke? Java and JavaScript have about as much in common as car and carpet, yet both get blamed for everything wrong with software development. At least Flutter devs know which one they're running from.

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Oh, the sweet irony of privacy-conscious users accidentally nuking their own ability to use the internet. Someone disabled all cookies thinking they're outsmarting Big Tech, then calls support wondering why they can't stay logged in anywhere. The dev's initial reaction is pure comedic gold—"haha good joke mate"—because surely nobody would actually block ALL cookies and expect authentication to work, right? But then reality hits harder than a production bug at 5 PM on Friday. They actually did that. They really, genuinely blocked all cookies. Here's the thing: session management literally depends on cookies (or similar mechanisms) to remember who you are between requests. Without them, every page refresh is like meeting the server for the first time. It's like showing up to work every day and expecting your boss to remember you, except you're wearing a different disguise each time. Support tickets like these are why devs develop trust issues with user reports. "It's not working" suddenly becomes an archaeological expedition to discover what unholy configuration the user has conjured.

The bird screams "GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE!" at React.js, then immediately proceeds to devour it anyway. Classic frontend developer behavior - loudly complaining about a framework while simultaneously consuming it for every project. The relationship status between developers and React? "It's complicated." Sure, we'll rant about prop drilling and re-renders in Slack channels, but watch how quickly we create-react-app when a new project lands on our desk. The cognitive dissonance is just *chef's kiss*.