Weare Sorry

The moment someone claims their regex handles "all edge cases perfectly" is when experienced developers reach for the doubt button faster than they reach for coffee on Monday morning. That innocent little pattern is probably hiding six different ways to break your production server when someone inputs an emoji, a null byte, or—heaven forbid—actual human language with accents. The confidence of regex authors is inversely proportional to the number of Stack Overflow tabs they'll need open tomorrow.

Content QA: I found a critical bug Developer: 11K2

Content These are some of the error messages produced by Apple's MW C compiler. These are all real. (If you must know I was bored one afternoon and decompiled the String resources for the compiler.) The compiler is 324k in size so these are just an excerpt I hope. I'm not sure where I stand on the copyright issue. Tony Cunningham "String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)" "..And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'" "a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program" '''Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible" "You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler" "This struct already has a perfectly good definition" "type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)" "Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says so, that's why)" "Huh ?" "can't go mucking with a 'void ! "we already did this function" "This label is the target of a got from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding '' inside this comment makes me suspicious" "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)" "Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer"

Content ha us A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without An email about a critical production bug

Just another Tuesday in DevOps. You're casually sipping coffee, testing a new rate limiter in what you thought was the staging environment. Then you realize you typed 10.0.1.5 instead of 10.0.1.6 and suddenly the entire company Slack is lighting up with alerts. Production is down, customers are screaming, and your coffee is now being violently expelled from your body as pure adrenaline takes over. The best part? You'll get to explain this in the post-mortem tomorrow while the CTO stares directly into your soul.

Content Memory Dump Old MacDonald had a farm LAnd on his farm he had a farm POp. What the E-I-E-I-O E-I-E-I-O With a farm, farm here A problen has been detected and Mindows MEMORY RANAGEMENT If this is the first time you've seen this Stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps: Check to make sure any new hardware or software is properly installed. If this is a new installation, ask your hardware or software I Windows updates you wight need. If problens continue, disable or renove any newly installed hardware or Disable BIOS memory options such as caching or shadowing. If you need to use Sate rode to ed scar as disable, component select ast your computer, press Beginning dump of physical men Physical Contact your systen administrator or technical support group for further And a farmaim threeee Made possible by Patrons like: Keith Richards Alarmingly Bad 2021 Jon Baker AlarminglyBad.com