Swiper No Malware Swiping

The eternal dance between hackers and terrible code continues! Top panel shows a desperate hacker searching for vulnerable apps, while the bottom panel reveals r/VibeCoding - that magical place where developers proudly share their "works of art" built with duct tape, prayers, and zero security considerations. It's like watching nature documentaries where predators and prey find each other through some cosmic algorithm. Those devs posting "I built this app in 2 days with no prior experience!" are basically sending engraved invitations to every hacker on the planet. After 15 years in the industry, I've learned the first rule of security: the easier something was to build, the easier it is to break.

When normal people ask for your address, they want your house number and street name. But ask a developer, and you'll unlock their final form of networking nerdery. First, they hit you with a private IP address (173.168.16.11) like they're giving out nuclear launch codes. When pushed for a "local" address, they retreat to the ultimate programmer safe space - localhost (127.0.0.1) - because home is where your server runs. And when specifically asked for a physical address? They go full galaxy-brain with a MAC address (28:05:FF:58:31:05). It's like asking someone where they live and they respond with their DNA sequence. Developers: making simple questions complicated since the invention of the network stack.

So Microsoft wants to eliminate C and C++ by 2030 using AI to rewrite their entire codebase. Because nothing says "brilliant strategy" like letting algorithms rewrite millions of lines of battle-tested code that's been running critical systems for decades. The hubris is *chef's kiss*. They're so busy flexing their AI muscles that they forgot to ask the most important question: just because you CAN automate the rewriting of foundational infrastructure doesn't mean you SHOULD. What could possibly go wrong with AI touching code that powers Windows, Office, and Azure? It's not like memory safety bugs are subtle or anything. The Jeff Goldblum meme from Jurassic Park is the perfect response here. They were so preoccupied with whether they could use AI to eliminate C/C++, they didn't stop to think if they should. Because replacing decades of institutional knowledge and battle-hardened code with AI-generated Rust (presumably) is definitely going to go smoothly. No edge cases, no undefined behavior gotchas, just pure algorithmic magic. Sure.

The wildest git diff indeed! Someone caught Mozilla red-handed removing Firefox's promise to never sell user data. On the left side, Firefox boldly declares "Nope. Never have, never will. And we protect you from many of the advertisers who do. Firefox products are designed to protect your privacy. That's a promise." But in the updated version? *Poof* – that entire answer just vanished into thin air. Nothing says "trust us with your data" quite like silently deleting your promise not to sell it. And they wonder why alternative browsers like Waterfox and Librewolf are gaining popularity. The irony of this happening while the FAQ still includes "Why is Firefox so slow?" is just *chef's kiss*.

The classic tale of "I told you so" but with toilets held hostage! Some genius company decided their smart toilets should have absolutely zero fallback mechanisms—because who needs to flush when the internet's down, right? This CTO is living every developer's revenge fantasy. After being forced to implement a design they knew was flawed, they get to watch the tech director panic as people literally can't flush their toilets without WiFi. The cherry on top? Those "Skynet mode" robot vacuums. Nothing says "I designed this properly" like your cleaning appliance becoming sentient during a server outage. This is why we put manual overrides on critical infrastructure, folks—unless you enjoy explaining to executives why they need a bucket to use their $5000 toilet.

GitHub Copilot silently judging your spaghetti code while simultaneously ingesting it for "training purposes." The awkward bat face is basically Copilot's internal reaction when it sees your proprietary algorithms and realizes they're worth exactly $0.00 on the black market. Turns out your paranoia about AI stealing company secrets was justified, but for all the wrong reasons.