The Stockton Stack Trace

When you escape PHP only to discover Rust has its own special brand of pain. Nothing says "we fixed our security issues" quite like casually mentioning you're "still resolving concurrency issues in production."

The funniest part? Migrating your entire backend stack to Rust because PHP had security concerns, then immediately getting owned by a new vulnerability anyway. It's like leaving your toxic ex only to date someone with completely different but equally frustrating issues. At least the borrow checker yells at you during compile time instead of letting you discover memory leaks at 3 AM on a Friday.

Props for the honesty though—most companies would've just quietly patched and pretended nothing happened. "Our exposure to the vulnerability is effectively zero" is corporate speak for "we got lucky this time but we're sweating bullets."