No I Dont Want To Use Rust

C++ developers watching Rust evangelists talk about memory safety is the programming equivalent of a wolf staring down a chihuahua. Sure, the chihuahua is making valid points about not eating the neighbors, but the wolf's been managing just fine with raw power and sharp teeth for decades, thank you very much. After 35 years of manual memory management, we've seen some things. And yeah, maybe we've caused a few segfaults that took down production servers at 2AM, but that's just character building.

In Rust, semicolons aren't just punctuation—they're existential decisions. The language is notorious for treating expressions without semicolons as return values, while statements with semicolons return nothing. So that "missing semicolon" isn't missing at all—it's an "excess" one that turned your perfectly functional code into a void of nothingness. Four hours of debugging later, you realize you've been therapy-couch worthy all along.

Oh look, another Rust hater crawled out of their legacy codebase! This savage takedown of Rust's infamous borrow checker ("variables weren't made to be borrowed") and compilation times hits where it hurts. The comparison to PHP as the original "rewrite shit for a laugh" language is particularly brutal. The bottom part mocks the stereotypical Rust evangelist trifecta: terminal screenshots showing compile times, the anime-inspired aesthetic of some community members, and that eye-searing hot pink logo. And that .try_into().unwrap() pickup line? Pure cringe gold that perfectly captures the "I'm smarter than you" energy that makes some Rust advocates insufferable. The irony is that while mocking Rust zealots, this meme has become exactly what it hates—another tribal battle cry in the endless programming language wars.

Learning a new programming language is like driving this backwards SUV. You think you're moving forward, but everything is just... wrong. The syntax looks vaguely familiar, yet somehow completely backwards from what you're used to. First week with Rust after 10 years of Python and suddenly I'm fighting with the borrow checker like I'm trying to parallel park this monstrosity. "But this worked in my previous language!" Yeah, and cars are supposed to have their engines in the front, yet here we are.

Ah, the great language wars continue. Rust evangelists love to preach about memory safety while conveniently ignoring that you basically have to type "unsafe" every time you need to do anything actually useful. It's like having a car with 15 seatbelts but you have to unbuckle them all just to reach the gas pedal. The irony is delicious - a language designed for safety that forces you to explicitly opt out of that safety to get real work done. Reminds me of that coworker who lectures everyone about clean code but has a "temporary" folder with 5 years of hacks.

A programmer's twist on the classic "what girls want" tweet! While the original tweet suggests girls want "commitment" (starts with C), our battle-scarred dev responds with the ultimate programmer dad joke: "Go and Rust are memory safer, but you do you." It's the perfect marriage of programming languages and dating humor. Sure, Go and Rust handle memory management safely, but C? That's living dangerously—manual memory allocation with no safety nets. Like dating someone who says "I don't believe in labels" on the first date. Segmentation faults in your code or your love life? Choose wisely.