No I Dont Want To Use Rust

Rust evangelists: *screeching intensifies* when they discover 19.11% of Rust libraries use the unsafe keyword, while C++ sits smugly at the dinner table knowing it doesn't need to mark anything as unsafe because everything is potentially unsafe by default. It's like bragging about having 19.11% of your codebase labeled "might explode" while C++ just assumes you're smart enough to know the whole thing is a minefield. Memory safety theater at its finest!

The C++ programmer's 3 AM nightmare in full display. First the Rust evangelists tell you your beloved language is "unsafe" and you need to switch. Then they warn that all your code will be rewritten in Rust anyway, so prepare for unemployment. Finally, the dream escalates to its horrifying conclusion: "QUIT HAVING FUN" – because how dare you enjoy your pointer arithmetic and manual memory management? It's the programming equivalent of vegans telling meat-eaters they'll die of heart disease while you're just trying to enjoy your steak. Meanwhile, the C++ dev lies awake, haunted by the thought that maybe – just maybe – they should learn Rust before their GitHub contributions become vintage artifacts in the Computer History Museum.

The circle of tech life is complete. Remember judging your parents for saying "what's a browser?" Now here we are, staring at Rust's borrow checker like it's quantum physics written in hieroglyphics. After 15 years of coding, I've evolved from "I can learn any language!" to "Does this new framework spark joy? No? Then it's dead to me." The tech fatigue is real - we've all become the very technophobes we swore to replace.

The perfect illustration of programming language personalities! Rust is that uptight friend who freaks out over the smallest type mismatch—staring at you judgmentally through those condescending SpongeBob glasses. Meanwhile, Python is the chaotic enabler who's like "Float? Toyota? Whatever man, I'll make it work!" with that maniacal grin. Rust developers spend hours fighting the compiler while Python devs are out there committing type crimes that would make a computer science professor need therapy. The beauty of dynamic typing: where everything's made up and the types don't matter!

BEHOLD! The pinnacle of Rust's existential crisis! The compiler is literally having an identity meltdown trying to convert an error to... itself?! 💀 It's like watching your GPS say "Unable to find current location because I don't know where I am." The sheer audacity of Rust to gaslight its own errors is why programmers wake up screaming at 3 AM. And yet we crawl back for more punishment because "memory safety" or whatever. The compiler isn't just strict - it's questioning the very fabric of error reality!

OMG, the Rust evangelism strike force is at it AGAIN! 🦀 Look at these poor C/C++ developers being accosted by yet another Rust zealot preaching about memory safety like it's the second coming! The absolute DRAMA of it all! The Rust fanatic is literally HUNTING PEOPLE DOWN with a school bus to convert them! And that final panel? The resignation of developers who know they're about to endure a 45-minute lecture on why their favorite language is basically committing war crimes against computers. I'm DYING! 💀