Evangelism Memes

Posts tagged with Evangelism

TS Should Have Been Rewritten In Rust

TS Should Have Been Rewritten In Rust
BEHOLD! The TypeScript mascot being STRANGLED by someone wearing a Rust bracelet! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! This is basically the software equivalent of Game of Thrones, but with programming languages instead of noble houses! The Rust evangelists have gone TOO FAR this time - not content with telling everyone their memory-safe paradise is superior, they're now physically assaulting poor TypeScript! Next they'll be telling us that "undefined is not a function" wouldn't happen if we just rewrote everything in Rust! THE HORROR!

They Don't Know About Monads

They Don't Know About Monads
Ah, the Haskell evangelist at the party. Standing alone in the corner, sipping his drink, silently judging everyone's inferior programming paradigms. He's mastered monads—those abstract mathematical structures that let you chain operations together—and desperately wants someone, anyone , to ask about them. Meanwhile, the rest of the party has collectively agreed to avoid eye contact lest they trigger another 45-minute lecture on pure functional programming and why their favorite language is "just a monad in a trenchcoat." The functional programming equivalent of a vegan who crossfits.

Is Rust Evil

Is Rust Evil
Ah, the Rust evangelism strike force in their natural habitat. Above ground, we have the beautiful C language basking in the sunlight, nurturing an ecosystem that's been thriving for decades. Meanwhile, underground, the Grim Reaper himself is filming a documentary about the angry Rust crab that's convinced everyone C programmers are just one null pointer dereference away from total system collapse. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen this movie before. Some poor C dev is just trying to climb out of the pit while Rust zealots are down there with their memory safety pitchforks and ownership model torches. Sure, my code segfaults occasionally, but at least I don't have to fight the borrow checker at 3 AM while questioning my career choices.

No I Dont Want To Use Rust

No I Dont Want To Use Rust
The perfect illustration of every Rust evangelist's nightmare - someone who's perfectly content with their "inferior" programming language. The gray NPC face getting increasingly angry at someone who dares to be satisfied with their current performance is peak programming tribalism. It's like telling a CrossFit enthusiast you're happy with your occasional jog around the block. The audacity! How DARE you be content when there's memory safety and blazing speed to be had?! Next thing you'll tell me is that you don't even care about zero-cost abstractions!