Evangelism Memes

Posts tagged with Evangelism

I Hate Memory Safe Low Level Languages

I Hate Memory Safe Low Level Languages
Oh look, another Rust evangelist has cornered you at the water cooler. The number "18464028364921" isn't random—it's approximately how many times you've heard someone preach about Rust's memory safety while you're just trying to write your C++ in peace. That gun-to-head feeling is the exact sensation when someone starts their fifth lecture about how Rust prevents null pointer dereferences while you're mentally calculating how much time you've wasted listening instead of shipping code. Sure, memory safety is nice, but so is being left alone with your segmentation faults and pointer arithmetic.

This Is What Rust Developers Want To Do To Your Linux Machine

This Is What Rust Developers Want To Do To Your Linux Machine
The ultimate irony of Rust developers! While they preach memory safety and zero-cost abstractions, this meme suggests they secretly want to replace your Linux machine with a rusty, abandoned computer case. It's a brilliant play on the word "rust" – both the programming language obsessed with preventing memory leaks and the actual oxidation process that's clearly consumed this poor PC. Rust evangelists are notorious for wanting to rewrite everything in their beloved language ("Rewrite it in Rust!"), but maybe we should draw the line at turning our hardware into actual rust. Your C++ code might have memory leaks, but at least it won't literally decompose your hardware!

The Bathroom Evangelism Problem

The Bathroom Evangelism Problem
The unspoken rule of men's room etiquette is apparently nothing compared to a Python evangelist's urge to convert you. Ten years in the industry and I've never met a Python dev who can resist the opportunity to corner someone at a urinal and preach about their language of choice. Meanwhile, the rest of us just want to pee in peace without hearing about how "it's so readable" and "look how few lines of code you need." Trust me, the only whitespace I'm concerned about in this moment is the one between me and the next urinal.

The Dual Life Of Rust Evangelists

The Dual Life Of Rust Evangelists
Oh. My. GOD! The absolute TRAGEDY of Rust developers! 💀 Top panel: They're Olympic champions when it comes to TALKING about Rust - pointing guns, taking names, ready to convert every programmer within a 50-mile radius! Bottom panel: The soul-crushing reality of actually having to WRITE Rust code, hunched over like they're carrying the weight of the borrow checker on their shoulders! The duality of every Rust evangelist - preaching memory safety by day, quietly fighting with compiler errors by night! The DRAMA!

TS Should Have Been Rewritten In Rust

TS Should Have Been Rewritten In Rust
BEHOLD! The TypeScript mascot being STRANGLED by someone wearing a Rust bracelet! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! This is basically the software equivalent of Game of Thrones, but with programming languages instead of noble houses! The Rust evangelists have gone TOO FAR this time - not content with telling everyone their memory-safe paradise is superior, they're now physically assaulting poor TypeScript! Next they'll be telling us that "undefined is not a function" wouldn't happen if we just rewrote everything in Rust! THE HORROR!

They Don't Know About Monads

They Don't Know About Monads
Ah, the Haskell evangelist at the party. Standing alone in the corner, sipping his drink, silently judging everyone's inferior programming paradigms. He's mastered monads—those abstract mathematical structures that let you chain operations together—and desperately wants someone, anyone , to ask about them. Meanwhile, the rest of the party has collectively agreed to avoid eye contact lest they trigger another 45-minute lecture on pure functional programming and why their favorite language is "just a monad in a trenchcoat." The functional programming equivalent of a vegan who crossfits.

Is Rust Evil

Is Rust Evil
Ah, the Rust evangelism strike force in their natural habitat. Above ground, we have the beautiful C language basking in the sunlight, nurturing an ecosystem that's been thriving for decades. Meanwhile, underground, the Grim Reaper himself is filming a documentary about the angry Rust crab that's convinced everyone C programmers are just one null pointer dereference away from total system collapse. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen this movie before. Some poor C dev is just trying to climb out of the pit while Rust zealots are down there with their memory safety pitchforks and ownership model torches. Sure, my code segfaults occasionally, but at least I don't have to fight the borrow checker at 3 AM while questioning my career choices.

No I Dont Want To Use Rust

No I Dont Want To Use Rust
The perfect illustration of every Rust evangelist's nightmare - someone who's perfectly content with their "inferior" programming language. The gray NPC face getting increasingly angry at someone who dares to be satisfied with their current performance is peak programming tribalism. It's like telling a CrossFit enthusiast you're happy with your occasional jog around the block. The audacity! How DARE you be content when there's memory safety and blazing speed to be had?! Next thing you'll tell me is that you don't even care about zero-cost abstractions!