When you really want to torture your users..

Content daisyowl daisyowl Follow v if you ever code something that "feels like a hack but it works," just remember that a CPU is literally a rock that we tricked into thinking 12:03 AM - 15 Mar 2017 13,720 Retweets 21,898 Likes 124 17 14K a 90 22 O Tweet your reply daisyowl daisyowl 15 Mar 2017 Replying to daisyowl not to oversimplify: first you have to flatten the rock and put lightning inside it 22 17 1.9K 3.7K Aras Pranckevicius arasp 16 Mar 2017 these tweets just made my day. Or maybe the whole week. Thanks! 0 1 17 45

Content Please do not turn off the light switch. It also operates the elevator. Thank You

Remember the ancient times of 2022 when we actually had to think for ourselves? The shocking revelation that someone can write code without ChatGPT finishing their sentences is now apparently an exotic skill worth gossiping about. Next they'll be amazed by developers who can fix bugs without StackOverflow or remember their own passwords. What a strange world we live in where not outsourcing your brain to an AI is considered a superpower.

Oh my gosh, this is every C programmer's nightmare! 😱 C libraries screaming at thread safety is like watching Tom from Tom & Jerry discover that the cheese is actually a mousetrap! We technically know we should handle thread safety properly, but then we're like "my single-threaded prototype works fine, why would I complicate things?" Fast forward to production where mysterious bugs appear at 3 AM and suddenly we're questioning our entire career choices! The number of times I've written "// TODO: make thread-safe" and then completely forgotten about it is... well, let's just say it's a personal attack at this point! 🙈

The evolution of a database admin's brain from basic monkey to cosmic deity in four easy steps! 🧠 Starts with the primitive "just write SQL queries" stage where you're basically a glorified typist. Then evolves to "use views and indexes" - congratulations, you've discovered fire! 🔥 But the true enlightenment begins at "put all business logic in stored procedures" - suddenly your brain glows with the power of a thousand suns. Database purists are nodding vigorously right now. The final form? Transcending reality itself by letting the database handle EVERYTHING. Who needs application servers when your PostgreSQL instance can become sentient? The database is the application. The database is life.

Two hooded figures from Planet of the Apes smugly declaring "Ah, victory" while your IDE lights up like a Christmas tree with warnings about unused imports. Meanwhile, you're frantically commenting out code you'll need next week because the linter won't shut up and the build pipeline is failing. Sure, the codebase looks cleaner, but we all know you're just going to re-import everything in three days when requirements change again.