Maybe I Can But I Won't

The Nobel Committee turning its back on actual computer science to ogle traditional physics is the academic equivalent of your crush ignoring your perfectly engineered app to date someone who can explain why apples fall from trees. Quantum computing? Machine learning breakthroughs? Nah, let's give another medal to someone who found a slightly different way to measure gravity. Meanwhile, the folks revolutionizing how we process information are left swiping through job postings that require "5+ years experience in a framework released last Tuesday."

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Content Alan Turing: Hello developers from 2021! Al must have already conquered humanity, right? Dog Al in 2021:

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The Java logo has become the universal symbol for "this will make anything unnecessarily complex and resource-hungry, but somehow still work." Slap that bad boy on a broken appliance, and suddenly it's not just a vacuum—it's an enterprise-grade dust acquisition system with 16GB memory requirements and three dependency injection frameworks. The only thing missing is the vacuum asking if you want to update it every 3 minutes while you're trying to clean.

Content RECREATE A BUG, EXPECTING EVERYTHING TO BREAK. AND THE APP HAS THE AUDACITY TO WORK JUST FINE.