It Sounded Better In My Head

Content Brian Kendig 9:56 AM HALLO How are y'all this morning? 9:58 AM Always wondering what day of the week it is. Brian Kendig 10:03 AM func whatDayIsToday() - String return "Tuesday" There, you can use that. 10:03 AM it fails 67 of the time Brian Kendig 10:03 AM I tried it several times this morning and it worked every time

Listen, when someone questions why you use i and j for loop counters, there's only one valid response: IT'S THE LAW. It's like asking why we drink coffee or hate meetings that could've been emails. Some traditions in programming aren't meant to be questioned—they're sacred knowledge passed down from the ancient CS gods. Using foo and bar as placeholder names, tabs vs spaces, and i , j , k for nested loops... these are the unwritten commandments that separate the true believers from the heretics. Sure, you could use descriptive variable names like index or counter , but then your fellow devs might think you're some kind of revolutionary anarchist. And nobody wants that kind of reputation in the office.

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The fundamental laws of nature: eat, survive, reproduce. The fundamental laws of software: works in production, don't touch it again. Ever tried to recreate that weird bug that only happens in production but refuses to show up in your test environment? It's like trying to explain to your PM why something that worked yesterday suddenly doesn't—pure digital Darwinism. The code evolves to survive only in its native habitat, mocking our attempts to understand it. After 15 years of debugging, I've learned one truth: some bugs aren't meant to be reproduced, just documented with "fixed by unknown changes" and quietly closed.

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