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Content Sr. Software Engineer reviewing closed PRs in free time Interns ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Can you lick the science? Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs? Chemistry: NO!!!! DO NOT!!!!!! Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone. Geology: Sometimes needed. Sometimes dangerous, Psychology: Best not. Physics: ??????222? How????? Zoology: In zoology, science licks you. Anthropology: Maybe ask first. Herpetology: bad plan bad plan BAD PLAN Sociology: Yes, if you have time and dedication and a willingness to piss a lot of people off. Botany: You might hallucinate or die. Or it might be delicious. Computer Engineering: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it's working Epidemiology: FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT Linguistics: Despite the name, please probably don't. Engineering: Maybe, but it'll probably taste like spreadsheets. Computer Science: nothing else has made the code work, so you might as well try it.

Ah, the classic tech bro paradox. Drop $5K on the latest MacBook Pro with every spec maxed out and another $1.5K on an ergonomic throne because "it's an investment in my productivity," but God forbid spending $30 on a new t-shirt that doesn't have a Node.js logo and pizza stains from a hackathon in 2017. I've watched junior devs justify $400 mechanical keyboards while wearing the same three faded startup shirts in rotation. The cognitive dissonance is truly our industry's most reliable feature. Still more consistent than our production environments.

Content PEOPLE WHO WRITE SOLUTIONS ON STACKOVERFLOW ANALYZING THE PROBLEM! PEOPLE WHO POST COMPLEX PROBLEMS IN FORUMS AND WAITING FOR SOLUTIONS TO COPY PASTE..

Content when the coding tutorial is too good but the dude is using a light theme

Oh, the absolute CHAOS when production decides to spontaneously combust right in the middle of your daily standup! Everyone's just casually discussing their "blockers" and "sprint goals" when suddenly someone's phone starts blowing up with PagerDuty alerts. The tension is PALPABLE – do we acknowledge the five-alarm fire consuming our infrastructure, or do we maintain eye contact and pretend everything is fine while the revenue counter spins backwards? The suits are standing there looking all corporate and composed while someone's frantically typing away trying to roll back that deployment from 10 minutes ago. Nothing says "agile methodology" quite like watching your entire team collectively decide whether to finish standup or save the company. Spoiler alert: the standup always gets cut short, but not before someone says "let's take this offline" with the energy of a building evacuation.