The Unforgivable Language Choice

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Content FAT PAYCHECK lmgflip.com IS FRONTEND PHP WEB DEV

The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

Content Crypto.com understated layoffs, dismissed at least 40 of Opendoor lays off about 550 employees, or Netflix ItS worktorce. report The company has gone through two downsizing rounds, one in May and the other in June, letting go of at least 500 employees Zendesk to lay off 5 of staff, Tiger Global-backed Chargebee lays off 142 emplovee: Seattle-based Zillow lays off 300 18 of its workforce DocuSign to cut 9 of workforce Twilio lays off 11 of workforce as part of restructuring plan the Big Tech bloodbath Meta Lays Off More Than 11,000 Robinhood slashes costs by 69 Employees after layoff rounds Booking.com Restructuring Will Pare Its Workforce By Up to 25 Percent I CNBC Stripe lays off 14 of workers Reuters Twitter says 50 of staff laid off, Salesforce confirms it has laid off hundreds of employees a CNBC Despite laying off 20 of its Amazon pauses hiring for corporate workforce workforce, Snap reports underwhelming 05 earnings Intel Plans to Lay Off Thousands of Employees As the Chipmaker Looks to Trim Costs Digital bank Chime is cutting costs across the board - including 12 of staff Microsoft confirms iob cuts after SurveyMonkey parent Momentive Global lays Shopify stock sinks 14 after off 11 of workforce Shapis stack inks al oft or calling for growth to slow workers Seagate Technology Layoffs Hit 3,000 Workers, Apple slashes budgets and implements broad Cvbereason Cuts 200 More hiring freeze, report claims Coinbase lays off 1,100 full-time BUSINESS workers over recession fears NEWS Oracle continues to lay off staff in the US Lyft to Lay Off About 700 Employees in Second Round of Job Cuts

The brutal truth about how developers survive their language of choice. C programmers ride motorcycles because they live dangerously with manual memory management. C++ devs mainline coffee to handle the complexity. C# folks need a variety of alcohol to cope with Microsoft's ecosystem. Python programmers use pacifiers because it's so beginner-friendly (but secretly they're babies). Haskell programmers need psychedelics to comprehend pure functional programming. Java devs pop Xanax to deal with enterprise verbosity and the JVM. JavaScript coders smoke weed to accept the chaos of the language. PHP programmers chain-smoke because they've made terrible life choices. And Rust programmers? They just wear cute socks because the compiler's strict safety checks make them feel warm and secure. Accurate? Probably more than we'd like to admit.