The Unforgivable Language Choice

Subtle genius at work here. In PHP, all variables start with a dollar sign ($), but the joke pretends it's because PHP developers are desperately chasing money rather than just following syntax rules. Meanwhile, JavaScript developers are over here using camelCase like they're riding economic humps to prosperity, and Python devs think whitespace will somehow pay their bills. The irony? PHP powers ~78% of the web, including Facebook, which literally prints money. So maybe those dollar signs were prophetic after all.

Content 9:50 ring 5 in-demand side hustles you can do from home that pay 100,000 or more Side hustle Skills Average earnings per year Design UX Design, Website Design, Photoshop, Illustrator 75,789 to 263.571 Game Development Game Design, Unity 3D, Animation 56.493 to 258,501 Coding Java, HTML, CSS, PHP, Backend Development 101.250 to 219,108 Mobile App Development iOS Android App Development, User Interface (Ul) Design 56,493 to 145,200 Website Development WordPress, PHP, MySQL, HTML 63,586 to 141,923 Table: Morgan Smith Source: Freelancer.com Freelancer.com all maker.

Content BUT ThE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY O toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOUrS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINIShED WITH THE FRAMEWORK THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAS MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTLE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YOU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU. YoU HAVE JAVA YoU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER YOU'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LISP YoU HaVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES, WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THEN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YoU HAVE PuP YOU HaVE TO reScUE THE PRiNCESS... IN PHP.. MART VIRKUS '6 toggl

Content PROGRAMMING EXPLAINED WITH MUSIC PHP IS COUNTRI IT SUCKS BUT IT'S EVERYWHERE y toggl JAVASCRIPT 15 A ONE-MAN BAND. IT DOES EVERYTHING (THOUGE): IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T C IS HARD ROCK - IT USED TO BE PRETTY POPULAR BUT MOST PEOPLE HAVE OUTGROWN CSS IS MUMBLE RAP- ANYONE CAN DO IT AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A PROGRAMMER HASKELL IS JAZZ - COMPLEX, BUT INCREDIBLY pOWERFUL AND FLEXIBLE (IF YOU KNOW HOw USE SWIFT IS U2-YOU HavE IT BECAUSE APPLE GAVE IT O YOU JAVA IS AN OBSCURE 17-CENTURY SYMPHONY - YOU HAvE To TAKE A CLASS To KNOW ABOUT IT. LISP IS BLACK METAL - NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT AND ITS FaNg MaKE PEOPLE NERVOUS MART VIRKUS '19

Content to parent favorite on: Pornhub Adult content Montreal OC On-site pornhub.com (NSFW) Come work at the 22nd highest trafficked website in the world. We are looking for: -PHP developers -Senior front-end developers -Senior Product Manager -Senior UIUX designer Must be willing to relocate to Montreal. Email me your CV: A PHP DEV F I'm interested but I don't think I'd be comfortable telling my friends and family that's what I do all day That is understandable. I don't think I would be comfortable telling my family that I develop PHP either.

Finally, a political compass that makes sense! Instead of left vs. right, we've got "System Lang" vs "Toy Lang" - because nothing starts a flame war faster than calling someone's favorite language a "toy." And instead of authoritarian vs libertarian, we've got "Obsolete Lang" vs "Nu Lang" - where COBOL programmers are still making bank while the rest of us chase shiny new frameworks every six months. The placement is savage. Assembly and C sitting proudly in the "real systems" corner while Python and Ruby hang out in the "scripting for children" zone. And poor Brainfuck got exiled to the furthest corner possible - exactly where it belongs. This is basically a Rorschach test for developers. Whatever quadrant your favorite language is in tells everyone exactly what kind of programmer you are... and whether anyone wants to sit next to you at lunch.