The Savior Of PHP Installation Nightmares

Content Tawanda L towernter They said they want someone who knows at least 3 programming languages and has at least 5 repositories on github so i wrote and pushed my hello world projects in Python, Java, C, PHP, JavaScript and HTML. 16:47 07 Feb 20 Twitter for Android ill View Tweet activity 223 Retweets 1,074 Likes

OH. MY. GOD. This code is the digital equivalent of a corporate "do not disturb" sign! 💅 GitHub Copilot just suggested the most brilliantly passive-aggressive authentication system ever created - a function that straight-up REFUSES to send one-time passwords on weekends or holidays! It's basically saying "Sorry honey, OTP authentication doesn't work on MY days off! 💁‍♀️ Try again Monday when I actually CARE about your security problems!" The sheer AUDACITY of this code to prioritize its own weekend plans over your desperate need to log in is sending me to the MOON! Work-life balance queen behavior! 👑

Ah, string manipulation in different languages - where consistency goes to die. Java's split() and C#'s Split() both follow sensible naming conventions, but then PHP comes along with explode() like that one developer who insists on naming variables after Pokémon characters. Ten years into my career and I still have to Google this function name every time I touch PHP code. It's like the language was designed by someone who thought "How can I make this as confusing as possible for people coming from literally any other language?"

Content 14 use this Snum1 "123456789012345678901234567890"; Snum2 "9876543210" r mysqlquery("Select sum: num num2); sumR mysqlfetchrow(r); sum sum0; share improve this answer answered May 17 '11 at 6:23 K.Sya 221 02 2 60 Zomg, that's both an awesome and a very ugly response. - Clement Herreman Jun 17 '11 at 13:06 are you serious? - WoLfulus Apr 18 '15 at 13:25 13 Sorry, but the SQL server is an SQL server, not a calculator. - GordonM May 22 '15 at 9:37

In the software development realm, there's a clear hierarchy of suffering, and PHP sits firmly at the bottom. Nobody wants to touch PHP with a ten-foot keyboard until... dramatic lightning someone actually needs it. The comic perfectly captures that moment when developers would rather sit alone in existential despair than volunteer for general programming tasks, but suddenly spring to attention when PHP is mentioned—not out of enthusiasm, but with the maniacal energy of someone who knows they're about to witness a train wreck and can't look away. It's like finding out your friend needs help moving, and you're suddenly very busy—until they mention their new place has a hot tub. Except the hot tub is full of legacy code and deprecated functions.

Content PHP Devs: Y'ALL GOT ANY MORE OF THEM Shift