The Savior Of PHP Installation Nightmares

The ultimate developer survival kit: PHP programming book + bleach. Because after writing PHP code, you'll either want to sanitize your inputs or your eyeballs. Amazon's algorithm knows exactly what you need after a day of wrestling with string concatenation and undefined variables. At least the bleach gives you options – clean your keyboard of shame or drink away the memory of that spaghetti code you just committed to production. $42.50 seems like a small price to pay for both therapy and technical documentation.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a Base setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print('?xml version"1.0" encodina"UTF-8" ?'. "In"):?

Content Hello. I am the 00M Killer. THe Kernel I'm the special process that the Kernel calls upon when memory Is running out. I have permission to kill other processes in order to prevent chaos. "Out of Memory I must follow a series of complex rules in order to decide who I'm gonna kill. But, in the end. 35 BANG I always kIll Apache off. THAT'S RACISM! I don't like that feather. Daniel Stori (turnoff.Us)

Content PHP DEVS GETTING RIDICULED BY DUDES WHO CAN'T EVEN GET A REPLY FROM 200 COMPANIES

Content Me ProdrammerHumor.io Random guy on stackoverflow asking the same stupid question

Content BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE NATURAL ENEMIES OR PHP DEVELOPERS AND PYTHON DEVELOPERS OR PHP DEVELOPERS AND PHP DEVELOPERS l LIKE PHP DEVELOPERS AND C DEVELOPERS OR PHP DEVEIOPERS AND JAVA DEVELOPERS DAMN PHP DEVELOPERS THEY RUINED PHP DEVELOPMENT