The Savior Of PHP Installation Nightmares

Content NOOO0O ITS SUPPOSED TOBE PRONOUNCED ENGINE-7 EN-GEENES

Content 6:09 0 0 7 6 11 0 77 You 1 minute ago Software Engineer KQED San Francisco, CA (On-site) Qualifications Skills in Easy Apply Demonstrable knowledge of Computer Science fundamentals - data algorithms and software fundamentals like SDLC, networking Good knowledge of Agile lifecycle methodologies: Agile, Scrum etc. At least 3 years or more of experience in developing modern back-er using one or more of the following: Node.jsJavaScript, PHP and Wor Spring Boot. Strong knowledge experience with no-SQL databases such as Elas MongoDB. Sound knowledge of source code management systems such as: git, Strong knowledge of CICD environments (we use Spinnaker, in conji Docker). Familiarity with cloud native applications and cloud platforms like GC Ability to collaborate and communicate within a cross functional tear Ability to independently work on small features across codebases. Physical Demands: Ability to lift a minimum of fifteen (15) pounds; Ability to exert maximum muscle force to lift, push, pull or carry: Ability to use abdominal and lower back muscles over time without fe Ability to stand andor sit for extended periods; Ability to bend, stoop, stretch, twist, sit, and reach; Fine motor skills: Good visual and auditory acuitv. The physical demands described here represent those that an emplovee mu the essential functions of this iob successfullv.

Content "Man, vour programming language really sucks" PHP devs JavaScrint devs "Nooooooo 90 of web pages are written in PHP it's a good language and it will remain useful for a long time" "Yes"

Content KNOW THE WORK RULES luse .. to Lua concatenate strings php I use. to concatenate strings APPROPRIATE AWWW.,YOU'RE SWEET. INAPPROPRIATE sorr HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!

PHP has been declared dead more times than a character in a soap opera, yet it powers about 77% of the web. It's the tech equivalent of that one cockroach that survives nuclear winter. Modern frameworks like Laravel have given it life support, but developers still look at it with the same bewilderment as someone witnessing a zombie doing taxes. "It shouldn't be alive, but here we are."

Content JAVASCRIPT IS COUNTER-STRIKE COOL BUT GETS WORSE THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND C IS DARK SOULS You'rE KIlleD BY THE TUTORIAL BOll IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE GAMES toggl KOTLIN IS TETRIS BUILT BY COMMUNISM, RUNS ON CAPITALISM HASKELL IS DUNGEONS DRAGOnS IT WOULD BE COOL IF YOU ACTUALLY STARTED PLAYING C IS TIC-TAC-TOE EASY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLAYING AGAINST THE MACHINE JAVA IS DOOM RUnS ON 3 BILlioN DEVICES PERL IS HIDE-AND-SEEK DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE HIDING, BECAUSE NO ONE IS LOOKING SWIFT IS MONOPOLY A LESSON IN CORPORATE GREED ASSEMBLY IS A COUPLE OF NAILS AND A PLANK YOU CALL IT "LEGO" PHP IS AN ELEPHANT BEATING You TO DEATH WITH A PADDLE -BALL DART IS THE GAme YoU LOST.