The Language Bashing Greatest Hits Tour

Content Javascript sucks B0001 GET BETTER MATERIAL! Exiting vim is hard FALSEKNEES.CoM 62016

Content Tech you like Add up to 10 tech tags e.g. html, c Tech you dislike Add up to 10 tech tags e.g. c, php Apply filters Cancel

Content LEARN PROGRAMMING FROM RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND RPROGRAMMERHUMOR JOKES AND LAUGH HYSTERICALLY AT WORDS LIKE "PHP" EVENTHOUGH YOU ARE ILLITERATE, CAN'T EVEN READ AND IUST RECOGNIZE THE GIYPHS

Content Has pseudocode gone too far? python

The classic "programming as addiction" metaphor taken to its logical extreme. Someone casually admits they started with Python at parties before spiraling into PHP development in questionable environments. Then a dealer shows up offering binary code like it's street drugs. The perfect encapsulation of how programmers talk about their craft like it's an illicit habit. "I'm clean now but every so often I get the itch..." Yeah, sure buddy. We all know you've got a mechanical keyboard hidden in your closet.

When your manager says "just process the last 1000 files" but you're dealing with a PHP script that's about to iterate through 2 million files while comparing against a database of 1 million records. The script is literally pulling 1000 records with limit(1000) but then checking EACH of your 2 million files against those 1000 records with in_array() . That's a cool O(n²) operation that's going to take approximately checks notes forever to complete. Your server's CPU is already writing its resignation letter.