The Language Bashing Greatest Hits Tour

Content when you're reminded you wrote the world's biggest social network in PHP

Content PHP is the best language for quickly developing a robust web app CHANGE MY MIND

Content Source Code a main.py 1 print ("Hello World!") 2 Ci. el Computer ScienceGitipseudocode-compiler Hello World! Press any key to continue . IT'S BEAUTIFUL. I'VE LOOKED AT THIS FOR FIVE HOURS NOW.

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Content JS php CSS a Problem -rUst Problem -kotlin Problem -typescript- Problem -php 8. Problem -div. Problem GIL Problem Solution Solution Any Problem Problem Problem WTF GIL Problem

Ah, the eternal bathroom standoff between PHP and literally everyone else. After 30+ years of being the internet's punching bag, PHP devs have developed the thickest skin in tech. While other languages come and go with their fancy new paradigms, PHP just keeps chugging along like that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch but somehow powers half the internet. The best part? By 2025, PHP devs won't even flinch at the hate. They'll just be counting their WordPress maintenance contract money while the "modern" JavaScript framework of the week implodes spectacularly. Remember: PHP has been "dying" since 2004, yet somehow still runs 77% of the web. That's not a language—that's a cockroach with job security.