Name A More Iconic Duo, I'll Wait

Content Have you worked with PHP using LARAVEL on a project that was active in production? O NO O Yes Which Harry Potter Hogwarts House do you think you'd be sorted into by the Sorting Hat? Gryffindor O Hufflepuff ( Ravenclaw O slytherin

THE ETERNAL ZOMBIE LANGUAGE THAT REFUSES TO DIE! 💀 For THREE DECADES developers have been screaming "PHP is dead!" while frantically pushing the next hot framework. ColdFusion! ASP.NET! Ruby on Rails! Django! NextJS! Each one supposedly hammering the final nail in PHP's coffin. Meanwhile, PHP is just sitting there, powering like 78% of the internet, sipping tea and planning its 30th birthday party. The ultimate comeback story! The cockroach of programming languages that survives every nuclear framework bomb dropped on it! And the irony? We're still typing

The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

Content Question 1: What is my name? O Davis O Elon John Miguel Question 2: What is my quest? I seek the Holy Grail I seek world peace I seek to pass this lab I seek a cheeseburger Question 3: What is my favorite color? Green O Purple O Blue Orange Question 4: What is the velocity of an unladened swallow? 20 kmhr 25 kwhr 15 kmhr O African or European? What? I don't know that! O AAAAAAAAAAARGH O AARGH O AAAAAAAAR O AAAAA Submit Quiz

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set("display errors" true); print('?yml version"1.0" encodina" TF.8" ?' "n"):?

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