Slop Starts With An S So As Satya

Satya Nadella's Microsoft speedran the classic tech company arc: fire all the engineers who know how things work, replace them with AI hype merchants, then act surprised when M365 implodes for 12+ hours. Turns out "move fast and break things" hits different when you're breaking enterprise infrastructure that millions depend on.

The brutal reality? Two years of prioritizing AI slop over infrastructure maintenance means the people who could actually fix the legacy systems are either gone or burned out. Now rollbacks that used to take 45 minutes are five-hour ordeals while exhausted engineers debug black-box services on bridge calls, desperately trying to reverse-engineer code written by colleagues who took the layoff package years ago.

But hey, at least they're shipping AI features faster! Who needs reliability when you have Copilot suggesting code that doesn't compile? The "S" in Satya clearly stands for "Sustainability" (of critical infrastructure).