Microsoft Announces Revolutionary Keyboard Designed For Vibe Coding

The undead king of operating systems refuses to die! Windows XP, released in 2001, is somehow still commanding a higher market share (0.64%) than both Windows Vista (0.07%) and Windows 8 (0.28%) combined. That iconic blue sky and green hill background is basically the digital equivalent of a retirement home resident outliving their own children. Microsoft's engineers are somewhere crying into their keyboards while legacy systems administrators are proudly wearing their "It just works" t-shirts. The zombie OS keeps shambling along, bloody but unbowed, like Randy Marsh in South Park refusing to give up a fight. No security updates? No modern browser support? XP users: "I didn't hear no bell!"

The eternal Edge vs. Chrome battle strikes again! Microsoft Edge is portrayed as a desperate entity trapped for millennia, only to be accidentally summoned by your misclick. That split second when you hit the wrong icon and Edge bursts forth like an ancient being finally escaping its prison—complete with maniacal laughter and excessive enthusiasm. What makes this extra painful is that Edge is actually decent now (it's Chromium-based!), but developers still treat it like that weird cousin nobody wants to talk to at family gatherings. The desperate "I'M FREE!" energy perfectly captures how Edge feels when it finally gets a chance to convince you it's not Internet Explorer in disguise.

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