Workflow Memes

Posts tagged with Workflow

Average Jira Enjoyer
Agile Devops Programming
7 days ago 54.7K views 0 shares
Average Jira Enjoyer
The spiritual journey of every developer who's had to deal with Jira ticket management. That moment when your project manager starts channeling their inner zen master, asking you to reflect on your workflow choices, only to hit you with the existential crisis of ticket proliferation. Nothing says "we value process over progress" quite like creating 17 tickets to document that you changed a button color from blue to slightly-less-blue. The road to burnout is paved with unnecessary Jira tickets.

Sprint Burn Out
Agile Devops Programming
8 days ago 94.9K views 0 shares
Sprint Burn Out
Ah, the classic agile death march. Manager shocked that someone dares question their "optimized" workflow while developers live the nightmare of back-to-back sprints with no breathing room. Fun fact: The Agile Manifesto actually values "sustainable pace" but somehow that page got mysteriously torn out of every manager's copy. Weird coincidence.

All Tickets Currently Blocked
Programming Agile
9 days ago 56.8K views 0 shares
All Tickets Currently Blocked
The ultimate dependency injection: a cat strategically positioned between you and your keyboard. Your sprint board says "blocked by furry obstacle" but you don't have the heart to create a ticket for cat removal. The cat has implemented the most effective CI/CD pipeline blocker known to developers - the Cute Interface/Coding Disruption pattern. Management keeps asking for status updates while you're busy calculating how many story points to assign to "petting the stakeholder."

Bug Amnesia
Debugging Programming Testing
10 days ago 59.2K views 0 shares
Bug Amnesia
The classic developer rabbit hole in its purest form. You dive into the codebase with laser focus on fixing that annoying bug, only to stumble across another horrifying issue that demands immediate attention. Two hours and seventeen Stack Overflow tabs later, you've fixed something completely unrelated and have absolutely zero recollection of what you were originally trying to solve. It's like walking into a room and forgetting why you're there, except the room is filled with spaghetti code and technical debt. The circle of debugging life continues...

Nothing To Report
Agile Devops Programming
18 days ago 63.3K views 0 shares
Nothing To Report
The classic "copy-paste my status update" workflow in its natural habitat. Left: Regular dog saying "nothing to report" on Monday (acceptable, it's Monday after all). Right: Buff Doge flexing the exact same update on Tuesday, because why waste precious keystrokes writing a new status when you could be doing literally anything else? The hallmark of a developer who has mastered the art of minimum viable communication during sprint standups.

The Evolution Of Copy-Paste Sophistication
Programming Webdev Debugging
20 days ago 142.5K views 0 shares
The Evolution Of Copy-Paste Sophistication
The evolution of a programmer's copy-paste techniques is a beautiful thing to witness. First, there's the primitive mouse-dragging method—functional but painfully pedestrian. Then comes the enlightened keyboard shortcut phase with Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V—a clear upgrade in efficiency. But the final form? Hitting Ctrl+C multiple times in neurotic succession because you're never quite sure if it actually copied, followed by a single, confident Ctrl+V. It's not a bug, it's a feature of developer anxiety. The clipboard might have betrayed us once, but never again.

When You Push Without Add
Git Devops Programming Debugging
21 days ago 83.7K views 0 shares
When You Push Without Add
The Git workflow massacre in three acts: First, we see a majestic Airbus A350 on the runway - that's git commit , your changes safely packaged and ready. Next, the plane gloriously takes flight - git push sending your code to the remote repository. But wait! The punchline: git add is just people climbing stairs to nowhere. Because if you push without adding files first, you're essentially sending an empty plane. Nothing gets deployed except your career prospects. It's the classic "why isn't my code in production?" moment right before the horrifying realization that you've been committing and pushing literal nothingness for the past hour.

Trust Issues: A Developer's Relationship With Clipboard
Programming Webdev Debugging Frontend Backend
24 days ago 80.8K views 0 shares
Trust Issues: A Developer's Relationship With Clipboard
The evolution of a developer's paranoia in three stages: Peasant tier: Using the mouse to highlight, right-click, and select copy/paste like some kind of digital caveman. Intermediate tier: Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V keyboard shortcuts. Efficient. Respectable. Enlightened tier: Ctrl+C pressed five times followed by Ctrl+V because the clipboard has betrayed you too many times before. Trust nothing. Verify everything. The real senior developers don't even trust their own keyboard inputs anymore. Not after... the incident .

Looks Good To Me... I Think?
Git Devops Programming Debugging
1 month ago 69.7K views 0 shares
Looks Good To Me... I Think?
Ah, the ancient hieroglyphics of code written before the holiday break. You stare at it like an archaeologist trying to decipher a dead language. "Who wrote this?" you wonder, before checking git blame and realizing it was you... three weeks ago. The coffee isn't strong enough for this level of amnesia. Your brain has completely purged all context about what the hell you were thinking when you wrote that nested ternary operator. Just approve it and type "LGTM" (Looks Good To Me), because honestly, who even remembers how this codebase works anymore?

The OS Intelligence Horseshoe Theory
Linux MacOS Windows Programming
1 month ago 90.7K views 0 shares
The OS Intelligence Horseshoe Theory
The great OS debate, visualized as an IQ bell curve. On the left side, we've got the "I need Linux for programming" crowd—the beginners who think installing Ubuntu makes them elite hackers. In the middle, at the peak of intelligence, are the pragmatists who just want an OS that helps them ship code without fighting their tools. Then on the right, we loop back to "I need Linux for programming" again—but this time it's the bearded terminal wizards who've customized their Arch install to the point where only they can use it. After 15 years in this industry, I've learned the hard truth: the best OS is whichever one lets you focus on solving actual problems instead of configuring your damn package manager. But we'll all keep having this fight until the heat death of the universe anyway.

Code Change Vs Database Change
Databases Devops Programming Debugging Testing
1 month ago 111.0K views 0 shares
Code Change Vs Database Change
Behold! The most accurate depiction of development reality ever drawn by human hands! On the left, your code change workflow - majestic, detailed, robust like a thoroughbred horse ready for battle. And then there's your database change workflow - a pathetic stick figure abomination that looks like it was drawn by a caffeinated toddler with a crayon. We spend YEARS perfecting our code deployment pipelines with tests, CI/CD, and version control while our database migrations are basically "run this SQL and pray to the data gods it doesn't destroy production." The AUDACITY of us calling ourselves professionals while treating our precious data like this! 💀

Master Of Scrum
Agile Devops Programming
1 month ago 69.5K views 0 shares
Master Of Scrum
Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of developers like an angry baby hippo representing your Scrum Master when you show up to standup with outdated Jira tickets. That tiny mouth can unleash a torrent of passive-aggressive phrases like "Is your ticket in the right column?" and "Can we get an estimate on that?" The daily ritual of frantically updating tickets 2 minutes before standup is the true agile methodology nobody talks about. Pro tip: keep a browser tab with Jira open at all times – not for productivity, but for survival.